Pastor Derwin Gray tells a personal story of starting Transformation Church and explains why he welcomes having a limp from wrestling with God in prayer.
“If money was not a problem, what would you do differently in your ministry?” I was at a small leadership gathering and the facilitator asked us this question:
The other leaders seemed energized by this question. They begin to write at a fanatical pace all that the mind-blowing, show-stopping, Disney-world-like things they would do at their weekend services. Ironically, there wasn’t much talk about discipleship or pastoral care, or helping the poor.
I didn’t write anything.
When I was asked by the facilitator why I wasn’t writing, I said, “I refuse to play this game.”
I then said, “If money were no problem and I had everything I needed financially when we started Transformation Church, I would have missed out on so much.”
“I would not have the limp that I have from wrestling with God in prayer” (Genesis 32:22-32).
“I would not have pressed into Jesus the way I did that brought about a new and deeper level of intimacy that I have with Him.”
“I would not have seen the miracles that I saw; like when a company gave us a $30,000 parking lot for free.”
“I would not have had to split my imaginary salary of $68,000 with my executive pastor; each of us making an imaginary $34,000 each.”
“I would not have had the privilege to ‘pray-in’ the leadership team that I serve with.”
“No amount of money in the world is worth the beautiful anguish of planting a church with limited resources because it made me rely on the unlimited God.”
Friends, are you wrestling with God? A limp from Jesus is beautiful. Surrender to His grip of grace as you read this prayer written by the Apostle Paul: “I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then, Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” (Ephesians 3:16-17 NLT)