Learning to Walk
But I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the comfort of my lips would relieve your grief. Job 16:5
Our granddaughter, Madison, recently learned to walk. It was fun watching her as she went through the various stages of crawling, pulling up, standing, taking a step, and falling again and again. Thank goodness babies' bottoms are so well padded!
Just as a baby struggles in learning to walk, you may struggle with learning how to give comfort. It may feel as if you've fallen on your backside every time you've tried to speak comforting words with your spouse. If so, then don't fear! Learning how to give comfort takes time and practice.
(David) remember how difficult it was to share comfort with Teresa at first. I couldn't get past my tendency to want to "fix" or "explain" things for my wife. The teacher in me would spring into action, and I would tell her how to solve the problem or why the problem occurred in the first place. As you may have guessed, Teresa was not blessed by my responses.
I have learned that there is a subtle simplicity to giving comfort that is easy to overlook. God has shown me that in order to give Teresa comfort, I must allow the Holy Spirit to help me look beyond myself, to understand that I don't necessarily know what to do or how to fix the problem. I must ask the Lord to give me His heart for Teresa—to show me what He feels for her—then give me His compassion for her when she is in pain. Then, once I have a true sense of His heart for her, I talk with Teresa about her hurt.
It's that kind of comforting that relieves my spouse's pain and brings the blessing that comes with comfort.
What steps do you think you need to take today in order to be a better "comforter" for your spouse?
Lord, continue to teach me to comfort my spouse the way You would have me.
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