Learning to Trust When It Doesn't Make Sense
It’s been a pleasure to attend Vision Baptist Church with Kelli Canfield. She and her husband Robert serve on the church staff. 2013 was a difficult year for them – Kelli was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy. Since her diagnosis, I’ve witnessed Kelli’s desire to turn a very difficult situation into something the Lord can use for His honor and glory.
It’s my pleasure to host Kelli today. I know her story will touch your heart and inspire you in your walk with the Lord.
So, what is the biggest thing the Lord is teaching me? It’s probably one of the biggest lessons He wants you to learn, too. Though the circumstances God is using to teach me may differ from those He is using in your life, I am sure the lesson He wants me to learn is one He longs for you (and all His children) to learn as well.
“Trust Me.” He says.
What entered your mind when you read that last line?
A matter of trust
Was it perhaps the image of a little child leaping into his daddy’s arms while saying “Catch me!”
Or maybe the thought of some carnival sideshow where the lady stands perfectly still while someone throws knives all around her?
Or could it be. . .
Fear? A wild fighting against what may come?
Whatever it is, I am pretty sure we have all faced situations that compel us to either trust Him or fight Him.
A tough decision
Recently, the situation for me has been the muscular dystrophy. It is an always present, never forgettable, well, to be blatantly honest, struggle to live with. And I don’t just mean a physical struggle.
I have never struggled more spiritually than I do now. I don’t mean struggle as in constantly failing and falling into sin all the time. I don’t mean struggle as in barely able to keep my head up.
I mean struggle in the sense of being constantly aware of my need to trust Him in everything. Yes, in even this illness. In everything. And I mean struggle in the fact that I daily, hourly, and even sometimes by the minute must choose to trust Him and honor Him and not desperately fight against what He is working out in my life.
I think that is the same choice we all must make in every victory, in every defeat, in every testing, in every storm. Do I trust or do I fight?
Sometimes the fight displays itself differently. Maybe I avoid the situation; ignore it. Maybe I get depressed. Or angry. Or even bitter. Maybe I choose to blame God or those around me. Maybe I get frustrated. Or maybe the fight shows its ugly face in something so easily dismissed as just being a little bit irritable today.
But that fight won’t give me the end result that I so desperately desire. . .
Rest in Him.
I can tell when I am not trusting the Lord in any situation I face because my heart will not be at rest with Him. I will find myself frustrated and easily irritated not only with my circumstances, but also with my husband, my children and with pretty much everything.
Am I so bold as to blatantly accuse God concerning the trial I am facing? No, not usually. But my frustration, irritability, snappiness, and overall ugliness are tell-tale signs of a heart that is not trusting Him in EVERYthing.
The right choice
When I come to Him and trust Him in all He is doing, there is a true quietness in my heart; it is no longer restless. No longer needing answers; no longer searching for a way out of the situation. I don’t need to know why; most likely I will never know the “why” that I so often search for. I don’t need to know if He’s going to give me an escape route; sometimes there is no way out in this life.
I don’t need the details of what is coming ahead; those details may be scarier than the present details. But I can rest knowing He is God (click to tweet). I can rest knowing that He loves me. I can rest knowing His grace is sufficient and that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. And I can rest in so many more promises of who He is and what He is doing and will do.
And even if I would not choose the situation for myself, if He chooses it for me, then I can accept it, stop fighting, and rest in Him knowing He will accomplish great things with it.
If God has given you a trial right now, and you are finding yourself restless, frustrated, irritable, or downright mean and bitter, I ask you to allow the Lord to show you where you may not be trusting Him.
Meditate on who He is and on His many promises; ask Him to burn those truths in your heart. It’s not enough to know them in your head. Ask Him to make those truths real and then choose to rest in them.