Learning to Drive


Marriage can be a lot like learning to drive on the left side of the road: it requires love, understanding, and patience.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Can you imagine going to England for the first time and having to learn to drive on the left side of the road? Can you imagine what it would be like to approach a busy, downtown intersection in London—driving on the "wrong" side of the road? God seems to teach me (Teresa) a lot when David and I travel overseas, and our first trip to England was no exception.

My first driving experience in London was insightful. David was really the one driving; I just filled the air with my advice, warnings, and panic. David is actually a great driver, and he had driven in London several times without me.

The problem that surfaced was my need to be in control. Every time David turned into the "wrong" lane, I panicked. I lost any sense of control, and my insecurities surfaced. But the Lord gently pointed out, "Teresa, the issue here is not David's driving. It's your fearful tendency to control things." Marriage can be like learning to drive on the left side of the road. We are learning a whole new set of "driving" skills.

Because marital intimacy is so difficult to learn, we need to support one another and not tear one another down. Most of us feel pretty lost and awkward in our efforts to learn intimacy, and we don't need someone putting us down or criticizing us. In fact, the more we feel put down, the less we want to try to be close.

Support your spouse. Your spouse is learning to drive on the left side of the road and will need a lot of your love, understanding, and patience.

In what areas of the marriage relationship do you most need your spouse's support today? In what areas does he or she need your support the most?

God, help me to support my spouse in learning how to be an intimate partner.

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