Lazy Parenting

Description

How often do you say "no" to your kids as a result of lazy parenting? Perhaps it's time to start saying "YES!"

I don’t consider myself a lazy person.  I am up early, I rarely sit down, and I always have a to-do list a mile long. I mean, who has time to be lazy when you are a parent?  Yet I find myself parenting lazily.  I find myself saying ‘no’ to my kids out of laziness.  I find myself yelling at my kids out of laziness.

Let me explain.

A few years ago we signed up for the Empowered to Connect (ETC) parent training. It really made us reconsider some of our parenting strategies.  We had to look at the parenting tools we were using and decide if they were working.

Most of us have four tools in our parenting tool belt:

  • verbal reprimand (yelling)
  • isolation (timeout, sending kids to his/her room)
  • physical punishment
  • consequences

Most days we find ourselves in a vicious cycle of using these tools to no avail.  They seem effective because we see our kids behavior modified in the moment. But rarely does the change in behavior carry over to the next day or interaction. As a result, we find ourselves doing and saying the same things again and again.

The ETC course offered to show us 25 new and different tools that we could use with our kids. We just had to be willing to put the other four to the side. We agreed, and we were introduced to a crazy new world of parenting. One that has proven to be effective and has taken us to a whole new level of connection with our kids.

One of our first homework assignments was to give our kids a day of saying ‘yes.’  Every time we wanted to say ‘no’ to our children, we were asked to stop, think about why we were saying ‘no’, and if possible, give a joyful ‘yes’ instead.  Now, this was a daunting task, and I was a little skeptical about what it would accomplish, but we did it anyway.  What it showed me was that my kids didn’t take advantage of me saying ‘yes’ to them. It showed me that saying ‘yes’ as often as I could helped them accept ‘no’ when I couldn’t say ‘yes.’ It also revealed that my laziness was getting in the way of saying ‘yes’ more often to my kids.

“Mom can we ride our bikes?”

I wanted to say ‘no’ because that would require me to get the bikes out and supervise them in the front yard. It was easier to let them play in the backyard with something else.

“Mom can we get out art supplies and paint?”

I wanted to say no because it was messy and I didn’t want to deal with the clean up.

“Mom can I have a snack?”

I wanted to say no because it required me to do something.

What this exercise showed me was that so often my response to my kids is lazy parenting.  I don’t want to be a lazy mom.  I want to be a mom who is fully present for her kids.  I only want to say ‘no’ for good reasons.  I want my kids to remember me as a mom who engaged them in play daily, who let them get messy, and who said ‘yes’ often.

By Kayla North

Please register for a free account to view this content

We hope you have enjoyed the 10 discipleship resources you have read in the last 30 days.
You have exceeded your 10 piece content limit.
Create a free account today to keep fueling your spiritual journey!

Already a member? Login to iDisciple

Related
Creative Ways to Help Your Child Learn New Behaviors
Empowered to Connect
Being With
Empowered to Connect
What Do You Need?
Empowered to Connect
Remember, Sad Can Look Mad!
Empowered to Connect
How Do You Want Your Parents to Talk to You?
Empowered to Connect
Follow Us

Want to access more exclusive iDisciple content?

Upgrade to a Giving Membership today!

Already a member? Login to iDisciple