Lori Dixon tells the story of the Gideon men and relates it to her emotional disconnect from her faith. Are you on the defense? Have you forgotten the very One whose Word we seek to protect?

So He brought the people down to the water. And the LORD said to Gideon, “Every one who laps the water with his tongue, as a dog laps, you shall set by himself. Likewise, every one who kneels down to drink.”. . . And the LORD said to Gideon, “With the 300 men who lapped I will save you and give the Midianites into your hand, and let all the others go every man to his home.” (Judges 7:5&7 ESV)

The other day I was mulling about why I felt so disconnected emotionally from my faith. This was a long dry spell for me and I was really struggling. There was no connection it seemed – even though I knew that wasn’t true.

I sat in church while worship swirled around me and asked the Lord, ‘Why can’t I enter in?’ Suddenly a thought came to me. I was lapping.

My husband and I had recently been given several books and heard from different speakers and – for some reason – we kept hearing the Word of God being spun for profit. It was causing me great angst. More and more, I would feel so on guard and anxious about not only those that wrote lies being presented as truth, but even those who wrote the truth but with a profit agenda in mind.

Having been on the defense for so long, it was like I had forgotten how to enter into true worship. I was like the men of Gideon who were attentive to dangers and kept looking around for danger. Which is okay . . . and necessary sometimes. But I was made to be different.

I was made to sit on His lap . . . not lap in fear.

Have you too in an act of Berean cautiousness, forgotten the very One whose Word we seek to protect?

Lord, forgive us for being full of judgment and pulling away from true worship.  Help us come to You with open hearts and arms and climb into your lap to drink in your essence. 

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