Knowing Without Judging

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You must come to know your spouse deeply and still offer love and acceptance.

Apply your heart  to understanding.  Proverbs 2:2

Understanding is a matter of the heart, just as knowledge is a matter of the head. To understand is to know intimately in experience; it is to become deeply acquainted with. Understanding begins with God, who knows all intimately. Many may look on the outside, but God looks on the heart. The psalmist speaks of His knowing my steps before I take them and my words before I speak them. He formed and fashioned me in my mother's womb and knows the number of my days in this life. He knows the intentions of my heart and the inner struggles of my flesh. And still He loves me. He's known me and not judged me. He knows my future failures and has not rejected me.

No greater testimony of "understanding" can we find than the Word becoming flesh and dwelling among us (John 1:14). This is about God being with us, as us! Christ could have come to earth, died on a cross to pay for our sins, and then immediately returned to glory. He didn't have to stay for a week, a month, or a year, and yet He lived on earth for a lifetime. He lived so that He too could endure grief, sorrow, hurt, and disappoint­ment. He wanted to live as we live because He wants us to know that He understands. Such understanding is additionally miraculous in that even though He knows us, He has not rejected us but welcomed us. He has not come to judge us based upon His understanding, but rather to love us.

Our challenge is to apply our heart and our effort toward that same understanding for our spouse. We must come to know our spouse deeply and still offer love and acceptance.

How might you come to understand your spouse more deeply?

Father, create that same understanding between my spouse and me.

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