Keep Parts of Your Heart a Secret


Emotional intimacy can be as dangerous as physical intimacy. Lynn Cowell teaches girls that keeping bits of yourself a secret protects your heart.

Getting deeper and deeper into my tale, I lead my girls right up to the climax. “And right when I was sure that he was going to ask me out…”

Then I stop. I wait. Soon they’ll start asking, “Well, did he? Don’t stop now!”

Guard Your Heart

That is exactly the reaction we want to create when using this wisdom tip with our kids. Looking for a way to share the power of holding a little bit back in a relationship, we keep parts of our story a secret.

As a young girl, as soon as I had a boy’s ear I would go on and on, spilling all of my heart as quick as I could. Hours upon hours were spent on the phone together…the first time he called. I was just so excited that somebody wanted me; I just couldn’t wait for him to know all of me!

No one ever told me: don’t dump all of your heart and mind at once. Keeping bits of yourself a secret protects your heart.

Dangerous Intimacy

Our girls need to know that emotional intimacy can be as dangerous as physical intimacy. When we expose all of our heart to one who is not committed to spending the rest of their lives with us, it leaves us vulnerable. Like being caught in a snowball fight with no gloves, our girls can find themselves exposed when down the road the relationship doesn’t work out.

So often when our heart is fully engaged it is just a matter of time before the rest of us is engaged as well; our bodies often follow our hearts. Our girls need to know that they will never have a more important mission than guarding their heart.

When I held back the best part of my story, I held my girls attention. I want them to do the same. Hold a little back; make a guy know that the best is yet to come.

Did anyone ever share with you to “hold a little bit back”? What are some additional ways we can teach our children to protect their hearts?

Written by Lynn Cowell

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