Intoxicated by One
There is one topic more than any other that pushes a lot of hot buttons—modesty. When I talk to Christian teens about it, I hear things like:
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wearing low-cut shirts. What, should I just wear stupid turtlenecks the rest of my life? I think girls should be able to wear what they want. It’s their self-expression. It makes no sense that you think that’s wrong.”
“I could shock you guys with some of the outfits I’ve worn. And I did not go out with the purpose of attracting attention. I felt good about myself and exuded confidence wearing the clothes. Yes, the amount of skin I have shown did garner some attention, but who cares? If a guy can’t control himself, it’s not my fault.”
Clearly this is an issue worth talking about. Proverbs 5:18–19 says, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated with her love.” (NIV)
In Hebrew, the phrase “May you ever be captivated with her love” is more literally translated, “May you be intoxicated by her sexuality.” According to verse 18, a man is to be intoxicated by one wife. As a woman, God wants you to keep the deepest secrets of your beauty for just one man.
I love studying science and comparing it to God’s Word. When this Hebrew writer wrote about intoxication several thousand years ago, he wouldn’t have known about the autonomic nervous system (ANS). But this system explains why a man finds a woman so intoxicating.
Imagine that you’re five years old again. You’re shopping with your mom, playing under the clothing racks, when suddenly you realize she’s gone! At that moment, powerful physical changes take place in your body. Your heart rate increases. You sweat. Your breathing and body temperature changes.
The ANS is a very immediate system that kicks in when we’re either afraid or when we’re sexually attracted. The difference—sexually speaking—between the male and female ANS is that men are microwaves and women are crockpots.
It’s difficult for us women to understand the power of this intoxication that the Hebrew writer talks about. We just don’t experience it on that level. A guy’s main sexual organ is his eyes. His autonomic nervous system is triggered when he looks upon your beauty and sensuality. Our primary sexual organ, on the other hand, is our heart. When we feel safe, beautiful, loved, or treasured, then very slowly our autonomic nervous system warms up.
Just because our ANS is not quite so powerful as a man’s, just because we were not created to be intoxicated by a man’s beauty, does not mean that we should imitate the fashion culture that we live in. Ladies, let’s save the deepest secrets of our beauty for one man, as God designed it. You were made to intoxicate one!