I've Messed Up Big Time
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” -Psalm 51:10
Both King Saul and his successor King David had favor with God at one time.
Both kings fell out of favor. As I pondered their lives, it seemed in my human reasoning that Saul's sins were no less serious than David's. Why was King David spoken of as a man after God's own heart and not King Saul? Were they not both sincere in their repentance? I had to know the difference. I mess up too.
It seems the Holy Spirit whispered, David did his own praying and humbled himself before God. A careful reading of I Samuel Chapter 15 shows that Saul appeared to be more interested in the honor of men. "I have sinned: yet honor me now, I pray thee, before the elders of my people, and before Israel, and turn again with me, that I may worship the Lord thy God.” (1 Sam. 15:30). Saul's actions continue to reveal a reckless disobedience as his life progressed.
David immediately fasted and prayed after Nathan confronted him (II Sam. 12). His deeply stirring words written in Psalm 51 ring in every broken heart: Create in me a clean heart and take not thy Holy Spirit from me... restore unto me the joy of thy salvation. He wanted reconciliation with God, far more than he wanted honor before men.
Perhaps that is the key to becoming a man after God's own heart.
Help me Father, when I mess up, to run to Your throne of grace (Heb. 4:16), and not depend on another to do my praying for me. Help me desire nothing more than unbroken fellowship with You, no matter what the cost.
Written by Harriett Ford
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