I Think My Boyfriend Loves God. . . in His Own Way


God doesn't do things halfway. So why settle for someone who is comfortable with a lukewarm faith?

There's been something about my Facebook news feed this summer that's been highly attracted to weddings. That's okay though, because I've caught multiple glimpses of the joy and true love captured in the shining eyes and smiles of each of the newlyweds’ special day; joy and true love that I one day long to experience.

 Aside from the fact that I've basically drooled over the lace gowns and beautiful rustic barns, a girl can't help but dream. Am I right?

  • I can't wait for my daddy to walk me down the aisle to the person I'll be spending the rest of my life with.
  • I can't wait to say my vows, with tears slowly falling down my cheeks as I look into his eyes.
  • I can't wait to watch my husband slide that beautiful ring with his beautiful promises onto my finger, and vice versa.
  • I can't wait to look into his eyes as he removes the veil to seal the promise of true life together with a kiss.
  • And I simply can't wait to run after Christ together and partake in Kingdom living with one another.

All of the wonderful life events in my Facebook feed this summer have really gotten me to seriously think about the man I want to marry someday.  And for the eyes reading these very words, I hope you think about it, too.

I came across a book of mine the other day called The Sacred Search, by Gary Thomas. It was a book that I bought at the wrong time, but I, of course, found it at the right time and have been reading it ever since. 

This book is incredible and today I want to share a point that Thomas very heavily reminds his readers of.  I encourage you to pick up the book for yourself when you get the chance. You'll be doing yourself a favor, I promise.

The excerpt I'm sharing with you is from Chapter 4, titled "You Don't Want What You Think You Want." 

"In front of a very large group, I asked all the married women to stand up. Then I said, 'I want you to sit down if you disagree with me that a man's godliness should be one of the top two things a single woman should consider when choosing a mate.

Not one wife, Not one. Sat down. Every married woman was telling every single woman: find a man with solid character who is growing in the Lord and pursuing godliness. That's what those women value most as wives. Yet many single woman merely pay lip service to character. 'Well, yeah, character and godliness are important, but I think my boyfriend loves God...in his own way."

I read the passage I just shared with you multiple times when I first encountered it earlier this week. Now, I want you to reread it with a special focus on the very last sentence.

Guilty? Yeah, me too.

Ladies, do not settle for a lukewarm Christian. Stand your ground. Simply believing in God and going to church because it's the "right thing to do" is not enough. He has to live it out. His heart of faith and love for the Lord should captivate you, not his looks. A heart of faith and a life devoted to Jesus should be the most attractive thing in our eyes. His smile should shine Jesus. His heart should radiate the love of Christ. His life should be Christ-driven.

Don't let yourself be captivated by a man's outer appearance. I know that's hard to hear. But hey, don't you want your heart to be what captivates that of a man? With that in mind, let a man's heart captivate that of yours in return. Good looks are nice, but they aren't everything. And they certainly should not be the determining factor as to whether or not you should marry someone. Come on, now.

Look at the fruit of the men who are currently holding our attention. 

  • If you're dating someone right now, look at his fruit. What do you see? Be honest with yourself.
  • If you're single right now, what kind of fruit do you want your future husband to produce? Write your thoughts down.

The next person you date, or, are currently dating could possibly be the one you marry. Look down the road 10 years from now. Is this man the kind of person you want to father your children? Can this man lead you and your future family closer to Christ for the rest of your life? What kind of life do you see with this man?

If you settle for a lukewarm Christian there is a huge chance you'll also become one. Please don't settle. SEEK. Seek out God's righteousness. Don't wait for God to just place someone in your life. You could waste years of life waiting around if you do. And then you'll get mad at God because your loneliness will have taken a huge toll on you by then. This won't be God's fault, though. That's right, it'll be yours. If you attend to the same routine every week, spice it up a little bit. Put some effort in. Get involved with more. Consider taking advantage of your singles’ class at church. There is absolutely no shame in that. Not an ounce.

You never know where you'll meet him. But no matter where that may be, remember your worth. God desires the absolute best for you. Even if you haven't dated someone in years, if a potential mate appears, make sure he's everything you deserve. Do not settle! I repeat: DO NOT SETTLE.

A man’s pursuit of Christ is the spark that should kindle a longing within you to join him on the journey.

Ask yourself:  Is this the man you want to pursue Christ with? The person who will challenge you to become the best version of yourself that you can be? The person who will make you grow? The person who will grow with you?

God doesn't do things halfway. So why settle for someone who is comfortable with a lukewarm faith?  If your love for Christ is on fire, why settle for someone whose love for Christ is simply mediocre?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

A man who is worth marrying is a man whose devotion to the Lord is just as strong and evident as yours. I'm not saying you have to seek out the godliest man you know and marry him. What I am saying is to find someone who can spark your love for the Lord even more. Someone whose faith you are comfortable walking alongside. If Christ becomes the main focus while dating someone, imagine what a Christ-focused and driven marriage would look like with that person.  Beautiful wouldn't even be able to convey what that would look like, yet alone feel like as you experience it with each new day together.

Ladies, I want you to know that a marriage like this is possible. Don't lower your expectations or your faith. Stand strong in your desires and seek them out as you continue to seek God’s righteousness first.  Above all else, refuse to settle.

Written by Emily Lauren Townsend


Battling Loneliness
June Hunt
How God Surprised Me With Answered Prayer
Shana Schutte
Port City Community Church
Getting Past the Pain of Change
Lynn Cowell
God Joined You Together: What Does This Mean? Part 1
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Follow Us

Want to access more exclusive iDisciple content?

Upgrade to a Giving Membership today!

Already a member? Login to iDisciple