I'm Afraid of My Kids
I have a confession to make.
I’m afraid of my kids. At times, I am uncomfortable with the conflict that might develop when I deliver news they’re not going to like. So, when I have to confront them, about something, about anything; I just don’t like it!
Have you ever had thoughts similar to these:
I wish I didn’t have to ask her to pick up her room. I feel like such a nag.
I wish she didn’t ask to go to that movie. I know she gets tired of me saying “no.”
I have to ask her change her clothes again! I’ll be happy when she understands the word “modesty” better!
Often, my mom-heart longs for the day when I’m not in this place of “authority” like I am today. Days when I’m more of a peer than a parent. I have to keep reminding myself: that day will come. But if I don’t live out my role as a parent today, the opportunity to be a peer might not come.
I was reminded of this when I read the story of King Saul in 1 Samuel 15:24. Saul was given clear instructions from God, yet when it came time to carry out those directions, he obeyed them partially. When the prophet Samuel called out Saul on his disobedience, Saul responded: “I have sinned. I violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them.” The consequences for Saul were substantial: Saul jeopardized his position of being the King of Israel.
Fear, what a powerful emotion capable of holding us back from completely following through on our callings as moms.
I must remember: if I want to be my kid’s peer one day, I have to earn their respect as their parent today. If I do not, I risk the chance of my child actually resenting me in the future because today they need a parent; not a peer.
As Solomon said is Ecclesiastes 3:3, there is a time for everything. Today, Lord, help me be the mom you’ve called me and empowered me to be today.