I'm Too Nervous to Date


Don't stress! You don't have to date unless you want to or until you're ready.

Q. I feel like I've become way too nervous to date, but I don't know how to get over it. When I think about dating someone, I just think about how complicated it seems and how unavoidable painful breakups are. I just feel like I can't trust myself to date, even though there are some girls who are interested in me. But I know if I always feel this way, I'll never go on any dates! What can I do to get over this nervousness?

A. There is no rule that says you have to date. In fact, there are plenty of people who choose not to date at all for the very reasons you give: it's too complicated, too painful, too distracting. I guarantee you won't always feel this way, so don't worry about never dating. One day, when the time is right, the same little voice that's telling you dating is not for you right now will let you know it's time to give it a try. At that time, you can get wise counsel from your parents, youth pastor or other adults who serve as mentors to you. In the meantime, focus your energy on developing friendships with girls, making sure you communicate clearly that that's all you're interested in. Those friendships will help build your confidence for dating down the road.

Written by Carla Barnhill

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