I'll Not Be Your Mother!


God didn't call you to be a mother to your husband. He called you to be a wife.

How can you say to your brother, "Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye," when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye?  Luke 6:42

One of David's "sins" is being late. He's been late ever since we were first married. I used to get so upset over his lateness that I'd be uptight and cranky before we even left to go somewhere. When we arrived, I'd be embarrassed and feel I needed to make excuses for us.

In time I began to see that my attitude over David's lateness was a sin against God. I began to see my responsibility in allowing David's actions to cause me to sin. When I examined the "plank in my own eye," I became more tolerant of what I had seen as David's "sin."

The irony of the wisdom in today's Scripture passage is that the more I focus on my own "plank," the more God frees me to lovingly and gently point out my spouse's "speck." When I owned up to my sinful attitudes and actions concerning my hus­band's lateness, I was able to be more gentle and loving when I pointed out to him why we needed to make more of an effort to be on time to appoint­ments. It worked, too!

Over the past few years, David has changed to the point that he's rarely late and often pushes me some to be on time. Obviously, the Holy Spirit's conviction in David's life was much more effective than mine.

It is so freeing now to realize I'm not responsible for my husband's actions. When I nag about his being late or try to cover for him, I'm actu­ally mothering. And God didn't call me to be a mother to David. He called me to be a wife.

In what areas of your spouse's life have you tried to be more of a parent than a marriage partner?

God, as You see the need to change my spouse, teach me to step aside and allow You to make those changes.

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