I Don't Want to Be Your God


Courtney DeFeo shares why she doesn't want to be your God—and why her deepest desire for you is that you come to know her God and really hear from Him.

Yes, you read that right. I don’t want to be your God. I want desperately for you to know my God personally – and for you to ask him a few questions….

Let me explain.

I am at my parent's house with my siblings – all of the cousins are together and it’s pure heaven. There’s just nothing like family...when you can be yourself and live in yoga pants because of great food and expanding bellies – not because we are exercising.

One of my favorite things about this house: talking with my brother.

Tonight we covered: heaven, hell, Duck Dynasty, loving all God’s people, being the church, loving Jesus but not so much his people and much more.

Drew is a pastor and is about 192 times wiser than I am (although 9 years younger).

I love his perspective and his humility. I love watching the very heart of God come pouring out of his precious heart.

He gave me clarity to a giant tension in my heart.

How do I share what God is doing in my life with you without over-sharing and bragging? How do I be sensitive and care about your struggles without telling you what to do? How do I make sure you know my life isn’t a formula – it’s the story of one girl and one journey with a God full of grace?

Drew shared:

People have stopped hearing from God. When they do actually hear God, they have a way easier time filtering others ideas and personal ministries. I don’t ever want to replace the voice of God for people. I want to be sensitive and listen, but continue to point them back to hear directly from Him.

I realize I have like 8 followers compared to some out there – but if you are a pastor, teacher, writer, blogger or anyone that writes on the topic of faith, I hope this encourages you and equally challenges you like it did me. There is pressure to be “God” on days when we can’t and we shouldn’t. We feel we have to write the exact right phrase or answer that flips a switch on – when actually we need to point them to the only ONE that can.

The truth is that I do not want to be your God. My deepest desire for you is that come to know my God and really hear from him. What should you do in parenting? What should do with that big decision? Should you focus on service? Or generosity or patience with your kids? I honestly do not know the answer and could try to give you biblical advice and suggestions, but He knows. He made you. And He wants to walk with you through all of this.

I don’t want to offer formulas. I hope to offer ideas and inspiration to show you that God works in the messy and the good. I pray that some of the thoughts and ideas push you closer to Him.

I want you to follow Him and truly care way more about that than you following me.

I have my own little “gods” in my life like Jen Hatmaker and Ann Voskamp and I have to be careful. I need a filter. We need a filter. When I am spending time regularly in prayer and in His word, I am much more focused. When Ron and I are clear on our mission and priorities, it makes the decisions way easier to filter because God has helped us define our purpose. When I see a blog post that is good, but not best for my family, I can delete or move on without guilt.

The best thing we can do for our faith is to ask some great questions, and when we think he is silent, ask again.

  • What does this look for me?
  • What’s he saying to me?
  • What is “on mission” mean for my family?
  • How does he want to use me and my family this year?

Ask him. I will too.

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