I'd Rather Be at School


Judy Moseman gives advice to a college student who is torn between hanging out with friends and going home to visit his family over the weekend.

I attend a college a few hours away from my parents. I love my parents and all, but sometimes I dread going home. I don't have problems there or anything, but whenever I'm home, I can't wait to get back to college. At school, I've found a good church and a great group of Christian friends who are like family to me. Is it wrong to not want to go home and be with my family?

Is it wrong to not want to go home? No! Would I recommend that you not go home? No. You need to enjoy your new and growing independence from your parents. It's a natural part of life, so there's no need to feel guilty about it. On the other hand, you need to continue to honor your parents, and you don't want to lose your relationship with them. Your friends may come and go, but your family is always your family. The key to your situation is balance. This is an important time for you to be respectful of your parents and sensitive to what they're going through now that you're at college.

They miss you! They want to see you! Remember: you've moved on to new and wonderful experiences, but you've also left a hole in your mom and dad's life. So talk honestly with them about your feelings and about how important your friends are to you. Assure them that you're doing well at school and are enjoying your new relationships. Plan times when you'll come home for a weekend or a school break. That way they have something to look forward to. If the drive isn't too long, you could go home for just a Saturday and still have some weekend time on campus to see your friends and attend your new church. You could invite your parents to visit you for the weekend. They would probably love to meet your new friends and visit the church you like so much. As your new friendships grow and deepen, it won't be so hard for you to be away from campus for a while. You'll realize you can occasionally miss a night of hanging out, and life goes on. Besides, your friends' parents will want to see them, too, so you'll have to be apart sometime! When you do go home, do it with a happy heart—show your love and appreciation for your family by having a great attitude.

Answer by Judy Moseman

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