How to Make Up with Someone Who Is Mad at You


Why is seeking reconciliation such a radical command? Are you willing to "go and be reconciled" even when you're convinced you've done nothing wrong?

I wish I could say that I have always followed Matthew 5:23. You know, that’s the difficult scripture that says if a brother or sister has something against you, then God wants you to go to them and be reconciled.

I wish I could say I had good reasons for not going, but I didn’t. The only excuses I had is that going and being reconciled isn’t easy. Here are a couple reasons why I think it’s difficult:

Show a little humility

The first reason reconciliation is challenging is because it takes humility. Sometimes we don’t want to go to the person who has something against us because we know we aren’t wrong. We know they have something against us based on their perception. And isn’t that how most disagreements start? One person thought the other person meant this when they really meant that? But the Bible doesn’t say if you know a brother or sister has something against you, and you know you have done something wrong, then go. No, it says to go if you know they have something against you. Going when we know we have been misunderstood requires gentle patience and humility with the goal being love.

God, give me a little courage

A second reason reconciliation can be difficult is because it takes courage. There are those times we know we are wrong. We know we have done something to someone  that wasn’t right. And we are fearful because we know if we do what God has called us to, to be a peacemaker, that there is a chance we will be rejected. Perhaps the other person won’t want to reconcile.

I recently thought about a time when God called me to make peace with someone I knew had something against me because I hurt them. I went to them, apologized for hurting them, and asked for forgiveness. I was met with insults. It hurt my heart because I was open, but I was rejected. Any attempt to reconcile is a risk, but we have to remember that we answer to God, not to men.

As I write, I am reminded that the call to forgive and reconcile is radical. It’s not a “you-can-do-it-if-you-feel-like-it” suggestion.  It’s something we are called to do regardless of how we feel.

Will you follow Christ’s command today to go if you need to?
Man Up Like Peter
Joe Cameneti
Be Slow to Anger
Dr. Ed Young
But Wait, There’s More!
Bryant Wright
The Many Masks of Anger
Dr. Michael Youssef
What I Wish I Would've Known Yesterday
Emily Manke
Follow Us

Want to access more exclusive iDisciple content?

Upgrade to a Giving Membership today!

Already a member? Login to iDisciple