How to Chill Out a Mom in 7 Easy Steps
Find the nearest stressed mom. It won’t take you long.
(You may actually just need to look in the mirror. Ha!)
And give her the following…..
1. A Sandwich….
For some reason, moms are always hungry. Pastrami on Rye. A Turkey BLT. We’ll take it. We tend to feed everyone first, then eat the crumbs. If you want to curb our insanity, think about our next meal before we have to think about someone else’s. Bless the blesser, if you will. And add mustard.
2. A Pillow….
Moms seem to always lack sleep. Perhaps if you throw a pillow at us it will make us actually lie down. Make it a fluffy one and we may very well not let it go for hours. With a nice pillow case on it, the drool will even wash out nicely!
3. A Listening Ear….
We know we need to “take something off of our plate,” “do what only we can do,” “realign our priorities,” “focus on what’s important” and “take care of ourselves”. But just listening to us for a brief amount of time without offering any advice helps us more than the advice itself sometimes. We mostly need to hear ourselves talk in order to solve a problem.
4. A Pile Of Folded Laundry…
Show us that you really know what stresses us out — seeing anything around us that isn’t done. Flowers are nice, but folded underwear will make us heave a giant…..Sigh. A magic spell of bliss will come over us knowing that one less load of work has been completed. Yes, we should be able to ask you on our own, but we just can’t focus long enough to do so.
5. An Uninterrupted Hour…
Are we watching TV? Finally trying to read a book? In the shower? Cooking, even? Don’t stop us, move us or do anything to break our stride. Think of us like a roaring Momma freight train that shouldn’t be stopped. We don’t feel like this often. Letting us just go and go and go…..now that’s a gift! Choo! Choo!
6. A Foot Rub…
We will never refuse one of these. Who would? We can’t move, can’t cook, can’t fold laundry, can’t work or do anything when under the influence of one of these. The effects are miraculous and lasting. Oh, and someone else can do this at a local salon. Pedicure is “code” for “Momma Sanity Saver”. Add red polish and we’ll feel like the queen that we truly are.
7. A Positive, Affirmative Statement…
We generally don’t make these up for ourselves. Tell us what we’re doing well, because we can tell you in a hot, New York minute what we aren’t doing well. Knowing that we aren’t disappointing someone, somewhere, about something will alleviate a milliard of symptoms including, but not limited to: headaches, fatigue, guilt and insecurity. Adding a hug and kiss intensifies the affect.
We wish we could do all these things for ourselves. Sometimes we can. Other times we can’t.
The rewards for you, however, will be immediate.
We will relax.
Chill. Veg out.
Then, just pass the Thousand Island for our Reuben please. It’s getting cold.