How Do You Spell L-O-V-E?


Anyone can fall in love, but it takes work to stay that way. A long-term, healthy, thriving relationship requires a certain level of planning.

There are many ways to express love. You can buy gifts, give compliments, a pat on the back, or a heartfelt smile. All of these are valid expressions of love.

But there is something that speaks even louder to the priority of relationship than any of these things.

That’s why love is spelled T - I - M - E. The depth of a relationship is directly proportional to the time you invest in it.

Last year, Blueprint for Life was invited to partner with Johnny Hunt at his annual men’s conference. While attending, I had the opportunity to ask Johnny, “What is the one thing you have learned about marriage that you could share with me?”  He said, “Nothing replaces spending quality time with your spouse.”  Then he shared three principles with me that I haven’t forgotten.  If these principles are applied, they will help you grow and strengthen your relationship with your mate.

1. Dialogue Daily

Have at least one meaningful conversation with your spouse every day. Make a point to ask one important question to unlock his or her heart.  Here are some questions I have put on my list, but I encourage you to develop your own:

  • If there is one thing I could change to be a better spouse, what would that one thing be?
  • What do you dream about most?
  • What concerns you most about the children right now?
  • What is the one thing you would like me to do to lead you spiritually?
  • Describe the perfect dream date.
  • Who is your best friend and why?
  • What is most important to you in our marriage?

2. Date Weekly

Secure a night on the calendar every week and jealously guard it.  Make it a priority to go out once a week and have fun together!  When your spouse has one uninterrupted night with you each week, they will know they are a priority!

3. Depart Quarterly

Okay, even if you can’t go to the Ritz Carlton, the idea is to get away from the monotony of life, the stress of kids, the hectic schedule, and enjoy quality time during a weekend every three months with your mate.

It may seem unromantic to be strategic about love.  After all, an exciting relationship with your spouse involves feelings and emotions of spontaneity. But a long-term, healthy, thriving relationship requires a certain level of planning. Anyone can fall in love, but it takes work to stay that way. And, being strategic doesn't mean you have to take the spice out of your relationship. 

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