How Are You?


Recognizing her recent dodges and realizing what's beneath them has helped Stasi Eldredge understand and offer mercy to those who dodge HER questions about THEIR state of being.

So, I've noticed recently that I've been dodging the "How are you?" question. Usually that is easily done, as it is asked in passing. You know, like catching someone just as they are entering or exiting the bathroom: "How are you?" "Fine! Great! How are you?"...close door. 

It's a polite question sometimes simply asked as an addendum to "Hello." 

But sometimes people really mean it. Sometimes they are sincerely asking and want to know. You can recognize these people because of the way they remain standing in your presence, looking at you with interested anticipation, waiting for the answer. Generally, I like those times. I want to be known and I want to know others. 

So, why the recent dodging? Because I'm BUSY, that's why. Because stopping in the midst of my busy day and inserting the dip stick of "How am I?" into my heart causes me to stop my pace and find out how I am, and I don't have the time for that, thank you very much. I don't have the time for that because how I am is sad. Or worried. Or so out of touch with my own heart that I don't have a clue how I am. Stopping to think about How I Am requires me to feel How I Am, and I'm running from that. I don't have the time to cry. Or...I'm afraid to cry. If I start, how deep will the sobbing run? How long until I can stop? 

Oh. Recognizing my recent dodges and realizing what's underneath them has helped me understand and offer mercy to those who continually dodge my questions about their state of being. (They're terrible, that's how they are. Duh. Thanks for asking.)  

It has also afforded me the room to offer grace to myself. Let my heart out and up to breathe. Cry if I need to. Be honest with my God and with myself as to how I'm really feeling. And then, best of all, INVITE JESUS IN to all that I am feeling, believing, running from.

So, I'm doing that. How am I? I'm kind of tender. I'm tired. Sad. But just on the other knife-edged breath of that, I have hope. God is a God of all hope. God is good. Good is coming. Always. I am loved and held and not alone and understood, and it's okay to cry. That's how I am.

How are you?

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