High Cost of Free Will
There was a time we worshiped the Living God together. We had even sung beautiful words of praise side-by-side. He lifted his sweet voice and me smiling. He would make amazing music with the instruments of praise.
Once, but not anymore.
Today I heard his words of unfaithfulness. Today I see he has turned from the Lover of his soul. He says that he would rather take a lobotomy or a brain disorder than go back.
I tell Him I am angry with whoever stole his spiritual joy. I am frustrated with whoever cleaned his clock so to speak and I am concerned that he speaks so freely of not fearing the Living God.
He comes back to me laughing. He has joy—family, friends and his work bring him joy. He says, "I don't need the imaginary friends to be happy, or a fear of hell to be moral. No person led me astray. I left after studying the Greek and Hebrew Scriptures and studying the history of theology. My initial goal was not to leave Christianity, it was merely to find a logical basis for my theology and to find specifically what constitutes and defines salvation. The more I studied, the more I realized that Scripture is not inerrant, nor is it historically accurate. I don't feel responsible to an invisible being, I feel responsible to my fellow human being—especially my progeny. My son is enough to give meaning to my life, even though I will die and completely cease to exist one day. I do not hope to die soon, but the thought of not existing brings an odd sense of comfort, not fear."
I tremble in fear for him. The one whose smile used to make me happy. Today he sees life through the lens of the evil one. He is intelligent. I know this didn't happen overnight. It took steps of unfaithfulness down paths filled with lies. He picked up these stones of deception, examined them and found them to his liking. He lifted another and another until the weight stopped him in his tracks. There he stands imprisoned by the weight of lies, deception and sin.
Somewhere in the shadows the evil one laughs a laugh of victory.
I turn away. My reasoning and explanations fall on deaf ears. The scales on his eyes are not coming off. He has made his choice. He has a free will. I have seen the enemy and the enemy is evil.
If the knowledge of truth leads to godliness then knowledge of lies leads to ungodliness. God does not lie. He knows the beginning from the end. May we harbor the truth so it may go well with us in the end.
Psalm 97:10 Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for He guards the lives of His faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.
So here I am in the Secret Place lifting his name before my God and trusting Him to show him the truth.
No wonder He came to show us the way, the truth and the life.
No wonder we need a Savior.
No wonder He's the Lover of our Soul.
I know nothing is impossible with God. Maybe someday I will again hear his sweet voice in praise. Maybe someday I will listen to the beautiful refrains of his instrumental music. Maybe someday he will know again the One who loves him with an everlasting love.
But today—well, today I lift up his name trusting it is not too late.Come, Lord Jesus, come.
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