Helping My Boyfriend Grow
Why your boyfriend—not you—is responsible for his own faith.
Q When my boyfriend left for college, we decided to put our relationship on hold. He became a Christian while we were dating, and I always felt kind of responsible for helping his faith grow. Now that he's gone, I want to make sure he's got other Christian friends who will help him keep in touch with God. Is there a way I could contact a Christian group at his school so they could look him up? I just want to know someone will be there for him.
A You're right to be concerned. When you move to a new place, it's a real challenge to find others who share your faith. It's a crucial issue for your boyfriend right now—and for anybody going away to college.
The tricky part is this: A person really has to want to find Christian friends. It's important for you to remember that your boyfriend—not you, not anyone else—is responsible for his faith. So instead of making contacts for him, talk to him about his faith and about the importance of finding Christian friends at college. He'll probably appreciate knowing you're concerned about his faith.
If you still feel like you want to do more, you can write or call the college and ask for information about Christian groups that are active on campus. Some excellent national groups are: Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship, Campus Crusade for Christ, the Navigators, and Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Other groups may be purely local, or affiliated with a particular church near the college. Pass this information along to your boyfriend and encourage him to check out these groups.
Finally, maintain your own friendship with him. While you don't have to be his only Christian friend, you can certainly continue to pray for him, write to him with words of encouragement, and offer support as he goes through the transition into college life.
Written by Tim Stafford