Grace for the Humble


This journey of learning how to offer life-giving words rather than life-taking words is hard and sometimes excruciatingly painful.


But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”  (James 4:6 ESV)


Several years ago, God turned my world upside down and put me on a pathway that forced me to learn how to be a spiritual life-giver when my instinct was to be a life-taker. If you had asked me if I was a life-giver, though I was unfamiliar with the term, I would have answered that I was.  I am a mother to four children, certainly that qualifies me as a life-giver! Three of them are not biological, but they still required a lot of labor and a lot of giving! I homeschooled all four of them!  Hopefully, that was life-giving to someone, because it sucked the life out of me. I dearly loved the Lord and my family, and God’s church.  If my God said that His design for me was to be a life-giver, then, of course, I was a life-giver, I thought.  

Then life happened and circumstances beyond my control broke my heart. I felt like the worst mother of all.  Failure identified me.  Guilt, shame, doubt, and fear overwhelmed me. I failed at the highest calling I thought I had: motherhood. My self-righteous pride was shattered when my mothering did not bring the results I expected. I had been trying to be the best me that I could, fully expecting that I could glorify God by trying hard.  

Troubles often expose the idols of our heart.  My default system reacted with self-righteous anger and hurt toward the circumstances and people involved.  Little did I know that the very thing that broke my heart would open my eyes to the call to die to self, so that His resurrection power could transform my self-righteous heart into a place that invited others to “taste and see that the Lord is good”. Little did I know that God was smashing this clay pot that held my prideful heart so that His exquisite love could shine through?


God used that painful season to take my face in His hands and say through Scripture, “Behold I am making all things new.” You’re about to learn that your self-righteous default system is a life-taker. Humble yourself before me and be ready to die to self in order to see new life break through the hard soil of this messy place.

This journey of learning how to offer life-giving words rather than life-taking words is hard and sometimes excruciatingly painful. Learning to put God’s glory and purposes above my own and trusting that the Lord is doing things behind the scenes that are invisible to me, wearied my brain as I learned a new way of thinking. Along the way, God has given me grace upon grace and opened my eyes and heart to the power of humbling myself before Him, surrendering to the call to die to self, so that through Him resurrection life comes.

Oh friends, I so much want each of you to experience the freedom that comes from surrendering to God’s way of responding to hard relationships. I have shed many tears, so that might not sound like fun, and frankly, it isn’t. But the angst is gone because I am not striving to promote my own agenda.  Instead, I am enjoying more and more freedom, because my confidence is in God’s ability to achieve His agenda. That’s grace upon grace. 


Oh Lord, I know that this is not an easy message, but humbling myself before You has freed me from having to protect myself in difficult relationships. I know You are my shield, refuge, and rescue. I pray each person reading this message will hear the help and hope in Today’s Treasure.

A Dark and Dangerous Path
Chuck F. Betters
The Source of Encouragement
Chuck F. Betters
Is God Really Opposed to Suffering and Death?
Chuck F. Betters
Is It Fair That I Must Suffer for Someone Else's Bad Choices?
Chuck F. Betters
Loss of a Child: A Conversation with Chuck & Sharon Betters
Chuck F. Betters
Follow Us

Want to access more exclusive iDisciple content?

Upgrade to a Giving Membership today!

Already a member? Login to iDisciple