God Can Reconcile Friends – Praise Him!
God is good! Have you ever had something nagging at you, maybe it was a concern, but you haven’t really specifically prayed about it? You carry it around and periodically pull it out and look at it when no one else is around, then put it away again. But then, God just takes care of it.
Even as good as I try to be about taking all my cares to the Lord, I sometimes find myself still holding on to small worries. Several years back I had a dear friend become distant. I went to her and inquired if there was anything wrong, fully prepared to apologize and reconcile. She denied any issue; however, our relationship was never the same. That was fourteen years ago.
Since June of this year, she and this “non-issue” have been on my mind. I’ve been debating if whether or not I should make another attempt to reconcile. Maybe the Lord had put her on my mind lately to re-establish my desire for reconciliation. Today, my long lost friend reached out to me in a very specific way to re-establish our friendship. I am so happy about this latest development. Obviously, God had been speaking to her as He had been speaking to me and now we are able to move forward as friends again.
As I organize my prayer closet tonight, I am going to give God praise for His goodness and care for my concerns. It is important that as things develop throughout our day we recognize these moments to praise our heavenly Father. He is good. He cares about every little thing that I care about; time and time again, God has proved this to me. Praise His name!
How do you reconcile with a friend? Scripture states that when you believe someone has something against you or is upset with you, whether you think they are right or wrong, you are instructed to go to that person to reconcile.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24
God is saying here that He does not even want your money (tithe) if you have broken relationships. He would rather you leave the service and go to that person to reconcile. This is the priority that reconciliation takes in God’s Word. Here are my recommended steps for approaching someone you believe may be upset with you:
1. Have a humble attitude. This will not work if you are too caught up thinking that “She just needs to get over it!” or “I didn’t do anything wrong!” It is not going to go the way God intended if you are on the defensive from the get-go.
2. Pray for the right opportunity. This attempt to reconcile needs to occur at the right time and in the right setting. It may be done in person, or in a letter or over the phone, but just be aware when you run into that person in public that that may not be the right time or place. Let the Holy Spirit direct you to the right method and time.
“…and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.
For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter,
though a person may be weighed down by misery.” Ecclesiastes 8:5b-6
3. Say the right words. You have the humble attitude, now let that attitude come through the tone of your words. If you are unaware of what caused the issue you may say something like this: “Deb, I feel that lately there has been some distance between us, and I need to know if I have done something to offend you because if I have I want to make it right.” If she discloses the issue, listen closely and don’t be defensive. Remember the key here is to reconcile! If you are clearly at fault, share why you felt you did what you did (humbly, not defensively), and ask for forgiveness. If she is reluctant to share what her feelings are at that time, just let her know that when she is ready to talk, you will be available. Also confirm how important it is to you that you reconcile any differences, as well biblical. If she denies a problem, then move on respectfully with your friend as if everything is okay. If you still sense something is wrong, then continue to pray for a reconciliation moment, and I believe God will provide, and give you your heart’s desire.
Remember, the goal is always to reconcile no matter who is in the wrong or who is misguided in their thinking on the subject, and that can only be accomplished in humility.
Is there someone who you need to reconcile with? If so, you have now been equipped. Onward!