Getting Rid of the Proverbs 31 Complex
Realizing how precious you are to God despite your shortcomings, is one of the most freeing revelations.
Being a Christian means living in deliverance as God continually strips us of what is not from Him. His Word says that only whom Christ sets free is free indeed. Before getting saved, some people struggle with drug addiction, alcohol addiction – I struggled with perfection complexes.
I have always had a problem with comparing myself to others. I am sure any woman can relate to that – it’s kind of what we do as females. When I got saved, it was a long – and sometimes torturous – process of God making me whole. It is still continuing today. I convinced myself that I was free, but I soon started comparing myself to women in the Bible. I would ask myself, “Why can’t I be like Ruth?” or “Why can’t I be perfect like the Proverbs 31 Woman?” Sure, it was a different standard that I was holding myself to, but very much the same thing as comparing myself to the standards of the world. The only difference, was that now I was doing it in the Kingdom. Proverbs 31 was the new standard; but I was subconsciously convincing myself that I wasn’t good enough to be like her. She was so perfect – I was exactly the opposite.
I soon learned that my insecurity issues were all a direct result of my decisions. I made a choice to let it affect me, to let it change me, to doubt myself. To believe the lies that the enemy told me. I realized that too often I blamed the enemy, but that he wasn’t as powerful as I made him to be. All he can do is put suggestions in my head, and I can either accept it or decline it. I couldn’t be who I was because I believed I wasn’t good enough for anyone to be like me. I didn’t see myself through God’s eyes. I was so inclined to what people expected; measuring different standards and trying to please everyone. I was in bondage – inside of the Kingdom.
When a woman is truly free in Christ, she is free from the bondage of people-pleasing. She is free from the bondage of perfection and unrealistic expectations placed upon her either by others or by herself. She isn’t striving to be perfect in everyone’s eyes, she is striving to please her Saviour. There’s a freedom that comes with knowing who you truly are in Christ. No longer do you wish to look or be like someone else because you are too secure in Jesus. You realize that you are so precious in God’s sight that no supermodel, no artificial standards of this world – or even the Proverbs 31 Woman – can compare to you. Now I know this precious truth, and today, I believe that God wants you to know it as well.
My dear sister, we don’t need to be insecure. Being in Christ comes with a guarantee of complete freedom, but we have to make the choice to accept it. Today, make a decision to be free. Choose to stop comparing yourself to what everyone else says and start listening to the voice of your Saviour alone. Let go of what you think is supposed to be, and allow God to change you through the Holy Spirit instead of your efforts. Continue to remind yourself of how valuable you are because of what Jesus did for you on the Cross; and continually thank Him for that. If you need to, stand in the mirror every morning and tell yourself, “I love the way God made me.” It might not register immediately, but sooner or later it will start resonating your spirit. Speak freedom over yourself.
Nothing can take away who you are and how valuable you are, but you can steal from yourself by constantly comparing yourself to others. “Others” being people you see on TV, or even the Proverbs 31 Woman.
Realize today that you are loved beyond all measure.
Written by Danelle Vingtas