Free to Be Me


Kimberly Martin encourages single moms to release their unrealistic expectations and let God take control of their lives. The results, she says, are much better than anything she could have imagined!

Hi my name is Kim and I am a single mom. That’s not my identity; it’s just the season I am in right now.

Single moms are pretty much super moms.

Parenting and running a household is hard–especially all by yourself. Add to that working and being the only financial provider equals exhaustion. We all have different financial and custody issues, not to mention children at various stages with unique personalities. Being a single mom has forced me to concentrate on what matters and not get distracted by what might please or appease those around me. I just want to do what’s best for my kids. I can raise my boys, work full time, and also execute incredible, Martha-Stewart worthy children’s birthday parties, rotate my house decor with the seasons, and also find time to occasionally sleep,

But even with all of that, eventually I get reminded that what matters the most are just the essentials, and it’s okay if I can’t “do it all.” For me "the essentials" is a very, very short list that involves food, water and making sure my son is wearing mostly clean underwear. ; ) When you drop the expectations that are beyond just loving and providing for your kids, the extras become the fun and pleasant surprises. When you actually find a moment to sit and read a book, or put a new wreath on the door, it becomes WAY more fulfilling and fun.

I invite you to take off your super mom (or super dad) cape sometimes, too, and just take a deep breath. Even if you’re not a single parent, just focus on the things you CAN do instead of being overwhelmed by the circumstances and limitations that prevent you from doing what you CAN’T do.

Lately, things have changed and God has been placing amazing people in my life as well as putting me in really good situations. For over a month now I have been working for a ministry called MarriageToday (a ministry to establish, strengthen, save, and restore family and marriage relationships through a Biblical message of healing, restoration, hope and encouragement.) I cannot tell you how much I have been richly blessed by these new changes in my life.

People and opportunities keep coming into my life to help me accomplish my goals and dreams. All I can say is that when God has something for you to do, there is no shaking it off. I tried to run from it and avoid it for a while, but when He’s ready for you to begin His work, there is no one and no thing that can stop you. I see this happening with me each and every day.

I strive to start my day with a prayer giving Him thanks and recognition for all He’s done for me and my family, and a request that He will continue to lead me and guide me in the direction He wants me to go. Where I am today isn’t a destination but instead a journey that has led me here. I am discovering my full identity and master purpose in life. God opened this door for me for a reason and I believe we’re all called into some degree of ministry, to serve God in some way.

One thing I have learned is God may have a slightly different plan and just wants you to step out in faith. Remember it’s His agenda, not yours. His way is WAY more fun anyway.

Releasing my unrealistic expectations of myself and my control by letting God take the reigns of my life is one of the most exciting and liberating experiences. If you are a single mom, I encourage you to do the same!

Written by Kimberly Martin, Embrace Grace “Bloom” Alumni

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