God has not given us a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7
If our fears are not from God—as today's Scripture tells us they are not—then they must come from the enemy, the one who steals, kills, and destroys. He's called the "father of all lies," and underneath the fear we feel, we can find the lies of the enemy we are believing.
Imagine hearing the words "You'll never change" or "We'll never get any better." Each of these statements points to fear about the future, and each is based on the lie that we can see into the future and know what is going to happen to us.
Fear of the future robs couples of the fulfillment of the present. In an effort to free couples of this fear, we often encourage couples to address their fears openly through verbalizing, prioritizing, and mutual accountability.
First, we teach verbalizing skills as a means to deal with fears and security. One of the spouses may say, "Honey, what have you been worried about or fearful of lately?" This kind of communication helps establish a basis of security within a marriage.
Second, we challenge couples to make sure they consistently prioritize their relationship through regularly scheduled couple dates. This means doing something for fun together—without children (that's family time), and without friends (that's social time).
Third, we encourage couples to develop mutual accountability. We encourage them to say things such as, "What irritating things have I been doing lately? I want to work on changing them:' Each spouse listens attentively without being defensive, prays about what is shared, and then makes needed changes. A willingness to consider a spouse's wishes for change helps deepen security in the relationship and also helps expel fear.
What fears do you and your spouse have that need to be cast out of your marriage? What steps will you take today to cast them out?
Manifest Your love through me, Father, that it will cast out all fear.
