Following Your Man

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Are there subtle and not so subtle ways that you undermine your husband’s leadership?

My husband and I recently attended a meeting at a quaint country church tucked into the woods. After getting off the interstate, the winding country roads seemed to meander aimlessly for miles and miles. It struck me that we might have difficulty finding our way back.

After the meeting, the plan was that my husband would lead the caravan of cars back to the interstate. After all, he’s the man, he’s the pastor, he’s the husband, and he had GPS in his car—and knew how to use it.

We drove away from the church onto a two-lane road in the dark of night. He was in front, I was immediately behind him, and two more cars were behind me. He headed down the road, going in the wrong direction, but soon realized his error and backed up. We all backed up to allow him to head in the other direction. We were on our way again. But soon we came to a fork in the road. He went to the left, and I panicked. That was the wrong way! He should have turned right. 

And of course, being the biblical woman that I am, I followed right behind him...not exactly. Instead of following him and going to the left, I turned to the right, and noticed that the two cars behind me had done the same. I kept looking in my rear view mirror to see if George had realized the error of his ways, turned around, and joined the caravan. (Wouldn’t that have been a perfect picture of divine order?) To my utter dismay, he did not. After about fifteen minutes on the country road with no end in sight, I called him to see where he was and he said, “I’m already on the Interstate, honey. Where are you?”

That was a good question. Exactly where was I? I was almost thirty minutes behind where I would have been if I had stayed the course and followed my man. And on top of that, I was modeling biblical womanhood very poorly for the young wife and single woman who were riding with me.

I was reminded once again of how readily I seek to control my husband (Gen. 3:16), and of the peripheral damage that is done to those who watch and learn from my example. I seem to do pretty well with the big-picture kinds of support, but these little daily life episodes trip me up a lot, and I find myself undermining my husband’s leadership. 

I’m really blessed to have a husband who is patient and gracious. He still hasn’t brought up the driving incident yet—probably saving it for a sermon illustration. He really doesn’t have to bring it up. The moment I took that right turn the Holy Spirit got busy convicting me, as only He can.  

I’ve got much more growing to do. How about you? Are there subtle and not so subtle ways you undermine your husband’s leadership? Let’s set our hearts on encouraging our men by following their lead!

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