Fearful of Aging
Here I am again, Lord. I feel kind of guilty about this: I know I’m supposed to age gracefully and gratefully, but right now my heart isn’t in it. Can I be honest with you? I feel like my body is betraying me one piece at a time. How did I get so many wrinkles? Where did those brown spots on my skin come from? I didn’t sign up for purple bags under my eyes. I have no stamina anymore. I eat less than I ever did, and I still gain weight. What’s happening to my hair?
I ache for my lost youth, but I’m even more anxious about the further losses that lie ahead. I fear the loss of my independence, having my driver’s license taken away, becoming dependent on one medication after another to regulate all of my bodily processes. I know I am losing vision clarity, and my hearing has been going for years. I fear being left out.
You alone have answers and hope for me as my body ages and declines. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26). You will help me along my pathway and see to it that I am up to whatever you need me to do for you. Your agenda for now is more important than mine. I await with joy your promise of full restoration.