Entering Your Spouse's World


In order to meet your spouse's needs, you must be willing to be humbled. You can't think only of your own interests; you must consider your spouse's world.

Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself.  Philippians 2:8, NIV

Christ took the initiative and humbled Himself in order to enter my (David's) world. He didn't just think about His own concerns; He thought of me.

In order to meet Teresa's needs, I have to be willing to be humbled. I can't think only of my interests; I must consider her world. When it all comes down to it, that's the issue I struggle with the most. It's not just that I'd rather stay in the air-conditioning than sweat. The fact is, I have trouble being humble.

Teresa and I have learned that when each of us longs for attention from the other, we must be humble in our presentation of that need. We must express our needs in a way that shows our vulner­ability and humility yet leaves out criticism. For example, if I attack Teresa by saying, "You've been shopping with your friends every weekend. You're a mother and a wife too, you know!" she's not likely to be able to hear the need behind those words. But if I say, "Sweetheart, I want you to enjoy your time out of the house, and I also want to spend time with you on weekends," then she's more likely to respond positively.

Similarly, I'm likely to miss Teresa's need for attention if she com­plains, "You've worked every night this week, and I'm sick of it." But if she says, "David, I know how hard you've been working at the office, and yet at the same time I am lonely, and I need you," I'm more likely to respond to the need she has communicated.

Compare these two approaches. Which would you rather hear?

How can you humbly and effectively communicate your need for your spouse to be part of your world today?

God, remind me how important it is for my spouse that I "enter" his or her world from time to time.

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