Enjoying Each Other's Company


Your marriage is strengthened when you engage in friendship-enhancing activities and seize the enjoyment of each day.

My times are in Your hand. Psalm 31:15

Time has only three tenses: past, present, and future. Intimacy is experienced only in the present. Living in the present is difficult, but it's essential for experiencing intimacy and abundance. In reality, the present is all we really have to enjoy.

Christ's earthly ministry gave us a great example of life in the present. Regardless of the external stressors, He continued lovingly meeting the needs of those around Him. As crowds pushed in around Him, Christ stopped on His journey with the disciples to ask, "Who touched My clothes?" (Mark 5:30). Likewise, the Holy Spirit, unhindered by yesterday's concerns or tomorrow's uncertainties, desires to express His care and love—right now.

We often give couples several suggestions for enjoying each other in the present. Our first suggestion is, talk about common interests. Second, we encourage couples to communicate their enjoyment of one another with words such as, "I'm not sure I've ever told you, but your friendship is extremely important to me. I enjoy you so much." Third, we encourage them to discuss their friendship and ways they can deepen that friendship.

We've also found it helpful to encourage couples to return to some "first loves." We tell them to recall some of the particularly meaningful activities they enjoyed during courtship and then to surprise one another by returning to some of them. We tell them to review their hobbies and pastimes—things such as hunting, golfing, fishing, shopping, tennis, and walking—to make sure they don't exclude one another. We encourage them to plan times to sit and talk, to go for walks, to go out on a date, or to get away for an overnight trip.

More than anything, we remind them that a true friend takes time for a true friend.

What kind of friendship-enhancing activities can you and your spouse take part in today?

Teach us, Father, to seize the enjoyment of today.

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