Encouragement from Marriage and Family Goal Setting


Has your marriage become all routine and no fun? Establish a vision to receive a fresh sense of direction and destiny.

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained. Proverbs 29:18, NASB

After ten or so years of marriage, Teresa and I began to observe a degree of aimlessness in our relationship. Routine and boredom had set in. We were very busy with activity, but we had little real joy. Around that time, we came to find that King Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, was indeed wise when he wrote of the importance of vision. We needed vision, a fresh sense of direction and destiny.

We began to use exploratory questions to help identify our specific goals. Then we focused on working together and encouraging each other to accomplish them.

During our sharing times we used questions such as: In what two key ways would you like to see me grow personally in the next year? What is an important item you'd like to see included in our romance? What improvements or changes would you most like to see around our home? As we together explored some of our wishes and dreams, many of them became common goals.

Over the years, our goals each year have varied from the great to the small. They have ranged from exotic trips to bathroom wallpaper, from retirement accounts to making new friends. A noticeable change has taken place in where we find our joy and excitement. First was the joy of accomplishment, the excitement of attaining the goal. Over time that has shifted to the excitement that "we did it"—the joy coming more from the journey together.

As Amos 3:3 wisely reminds us, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"—agreed on where they are going, we would say! There is joy in the vision for where we're going and there's joy in the walking together.

What steps can you and your spouse take together this day to establish vision for your marriage?

Encourage me, Father, with a vision for my marriage, and then make me an encourager as we seek the vision together.

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