Don't Give Up
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18, TNIV
There was a time in my life when I was clinically depressed. My parents took me to a psychologist who helped me a lot, but what really healed me was giving my life to Jesus that summer.
It was really hard because the depression made me feel like a squashed bug on the sidewalk. I didn’t want to do anything for myself, much less for someone else. I can understand what the psalmist means to be “crushed in spirit.” My soul felt trampled.
Even when I gave my life to Jesus, it was a sort of desperate, last-ditch effort. “please, Jesus, help me not to kill myself.” I didn’t want to exist anymore. I felt so broken and tired and achy and transparent. I was ready to be blown out like a candle in the wind.
It didn’t feel like Jesus was near me. I felt a little stupid praying to Him when I couldn’t tell if He was even there. And right after I gave my life to Jesus, I had expected some choir of angels to come down or for me to feel lighter or happier. But I didn’t feel anything.
But in the weeks that followed, I started suddenly being aware of a comforting presence with me. The feeling crept up on me slowly until one day, I realized I didn’t feel alone anymore.
We all go through times when our spirit is flayed and beaten. It’s even harder because we don’t feel like Jesus is there. Those are times we need to just cling to the knowledge that Jesus is close to the brokenhearted. Don’t give up.
FAITH STEP: Write down Psalm 34:18 on an index card and keep it with you in your purse or pocket so that you can remind yourself daily. It will help you trust in the Word of God where He promises to be with you when you are brokenhearted, even if you can’t feel Him. God never breaks His promises.
Contributed by Camy Tang