Do You Know the Dance Steps?


When you and your spouse have one of those days/weeks/months/years, you need to learn the steps of "the dance."

Raising a son with special needs (age 32) has allowed us to work together on a lot of different levels and on different issues. So when our daughter and son-in-law, who were living with us, went to the hospital to deliver their second child, we went into our dance!

We’d just gotten back from seeing MR. CUTENESS, our newest grandson, at the hospital. We were all tired from little sleep the night before. MR. MANNERS, the 3 year old, needed lunch. There were three loads of laundry to be done. The dishwasher needed emptying. There were no groceries. Our son with special needs needed to be picked up from his place of supervised work. Sound familiar?

When you have one of those days/weeks/months/years… you and your spouse need to develop “the dance”…

We have learned to divide and conquer. It’s taken time, but we’ve learned the different combinations that make the dance work well—together! We had to learn:

  • Who does _________best?
  • Who does _________fastest?
  • Who does _________easiest?
  • Who does _________with the least amount of effort?
  • Who does _________with the best attitude?

When you figure that out, you’re ready to put a plan into action.

Joe took the grocery list and went shopping while Cindi fed Mr. Manners. Cindi started the laundry and when Joe brought the groceries in both unloaded the dishwasher and unpacked the groceries. Joe knows which items Cindi prefers to put away herself and she know which dishes he likes to put away as they do the dishwasher. Getting our son from work when the 3 year old napped was up for grabs on who wanted to go. We know the dance.

Balancing life is like a dance. It takes practice. If you don’t practice, it will probably always look awkward.

Practice discipline. Practice setting daily priorities before making a big list for the year. Start with small steps… and work into the harder (and fancier) steps once you get the simple ones “down”! After some practice, the dance actually starts to look like you know what you’re doing! And when you step on each other’s toes… it’s good for a laugh, a kiss, and learning how to get back in step!

Written by Cindi Ferrini


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