Divorce: Despair or Trust
Divorce is so tragic and seems to be the ultimate relational wound. When marriage problems end in separation and divorce, the loss is experienced deeply by the couple, and also by the entire family. Its insidious tentacles can even reach out and impact friends of the family and even coworkers. Divorce can leave the family in suspended animation when battles rage for years and wounds fester, re-opened at shared events usually involving the children.
Recovering from divorce involves working through a process of both forgiving and grieving. It’s a grief much like when a spouse has died, but even more complicated. It also involves making decisions. You might not have had a choice in getting a divorce, but you do have choices in your response. Will you hold on to bitterness and anger … or will you forgive? Will you give in to despair … or will you trust Jesus to help you rebuild your life on Him and not on your marriage or your spouse? Will you walk in fear … or will you courageously face the future God has for you? Do you trust yourself, your marriage, your ex-, your lawyer, the judge, your new romantic interest … or God?
Satan and your flesh, which is filled with insecurities and hurt, will try to influence your me-centered focus to give up, to feel like a failure, to feel no hope is possible, that your judgment is poor, and that you have lost everything. You have to resist these lies and distortions. Remember, Satan is the Great Deceiver. This is the only character trait he brings to address and confront the truth.
Divorce can bring one of the most intense pains into a person’s life. But you don’t have to go through it alone. Jesus loves you and wants to help you. If you will commit your ways to Him, the Holy Spirit will guide you in making all those hard decisions … He will give you the courage and peace you need to be clear-minded … and He will restore your hope. With God, all things are possible.
Today, if you are thinking about divorce, STOP! Get some wise counsel, because this is not God’s plan, (although it’s sometimes acceptable). Therefore, it will be a nightmare for you and will result in a lot of loss for many others. If you are divorced, dive into the Bible and participate in a church-based Divorce Recovery group so you can heal using Biblical truths and lenses. If you are a child of divorced parents, carefully examine the lies that divorce embedded in your mind about your parents, about relationships, and about yourself. If you know people in these situations, help them genuinely heal. Help them to see God and life more clearly. Satan knows how to use divorce to suck the soul out of people and make them his puppets. If you are married, commit to growing your marriage and expressing your love to your spouse. Whether you choose relational health as a top priority or you allow your relationships to erode is your decision, so choose well.
Dear Father God, forgive me for the poor decisions I have made in the past. I know divorce saddens You. My hurt and loss seem unbearable at times. Please help me access the strength, power, peace, and comfort You provide to overcome the hurt. I know that through You, I will not just overcome, but even thrive as a result of learning to put all my eggs in Your basket. Right now I have to make so many decisions. I need your help. Help me to choose the right path … the one that is right for my family and for me, and most of all, the path that pleases You. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who shows the next step to take, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say – AMEN!
Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. Psalm 25:12
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. Matthew 19:6
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24