Identifying lies in your thinking process helps to build close­ness. Set aside time this week to take turns sharing the lies you're most vulnerable to; reassure each other with the truth in each case.

[Bring] every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

"Why should I change?" insisted Ellen. "I thought marriage meant accepting me just the way I am." Her husband, Dale, offered his answer: "If our marriage takes this much work, maybe we're just not right for each other?'

Ellen and Dale suffered from several mis­conceptions about marriage.

Many couples begin their lives together believing marital lies. It's never a conscious deci­sion to believe these untruths, but believing marital lies can still be harmful, or fatal, to a relationship. In our work with Dale and Ellen, we worked to debunk the lies.

Ellen bought into the lie that in marriage she shouldn't have to change. We explained to her the truth that while spouses must accept one another unconditionally, each needs to mature and grow in his or her faith and in the relationship. That, we explained, is what the process of becoming Christlike is all about.

Dale believed the lie that if a marriage takes hard work, then the two people must not be right for one another. We explained to him the truth that all intimate relationships take hard work and that encountering dif­ficulties and challenges didn't mean he and his wife weren't right for one another. Rather, we pointed out, it meant they were both human.

We often suggest that married couples set aside time to talk about marital lies. Many couples find it helpful to discuss misconceptions about marriage with a counselor or mentor couple. Including a third party with an objective voice often helps expose unseen marital lies and identify the truth.

Identifying lies in your thinking process is helpful in building close­ness. Set aside time this week to take turns sharing the lies you're most vulnerable to and reassure each other with the truth in each case.

What steps are involved in identifying the marital lies you may believe to be truths?

Help me, Father, to take lies captive and cast them down, replacing them with the truth.