Dealing with a Negligent Husband
“[B]ut speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15)
Recently, Crown received a letter from a wife whose husband had worked on and off throughout their 18-year marriage. When he was employed, he wanted to spend. When he was not working, he and his wife depended on help from relatives. They had filed bankruptcy twice, and at the time of this letter, he was out of work again and didn’t plan to look for a job. However, his wife had a desire to stay home and care for their children and to get out of debt.
My heart went out to this woman. This man was responsible to work and provide for his family whether he was in a high-paying or low-paying job.
Here’s some advice if you’re facing a similar situation:
First, ask your husband to pray out loud with you every day. This will tell you a lot about what’s in his heart.
Second, ask him if he’s willing to approach finances God’s way. Tell him you think God’s way is better than man’s way. Don’t condemn him or make him feel like a failure. Just ask him to join you in discovering and following God’s way.
Third, let him know you’ll help in any way possible because you don’t want to live in violation of God’s principles. Even if he doesn’t want to, he may let you manage the budget if you ask respectfully.
Speak the truth in love to your husband. Man is prideful and doesn’t want to feel like a failure. Nagging won’t be successful. Women often see the truth clearly, but they must share that truth in love. Affirm your love for your husband and ask him to work with you. In the meantime, pray regularly for patience and for wisdom as you ask the Lord to change his heart.
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