"Dates," Common Interests, and Other Good Times


What specific things can you do today to cultivate close friendship with your spouse?

I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father have made known to you. John 15:15

Friendship requires a commitment to spend time together, enjoying one another's company and finding common interests. Without that commit­ment, the friendship will never develop any real depth.

Very late in Christ's earthly ministry, He reminds the disciples of the things they've shared together. The multitudes would have missed most of what the Father revealed, but Christ had shared it with these close friends.

This demonstrates that the key to true friendship is sharing life together. Here are the ways Christ and the disciples developed friendship:

  • They "did life" together—work, fun, ministry, etc.
  • "Their" time together came first, then came time with the multitudes.
  • They got away together to guard themselves from weariness.
  • No subject was off-limits, which made their relationships special.
  • He gave to them and encouraged them to give to others.

Likewise, we develop closeness in marriage as we enjoy memorable, fun times. This encourages us to increase our "giving" to our spouses in many important ways.

You can do this by "dating" again, by returning to some little things you enjoyed during your courtship—sitting together, holding hands, wear­ing favorite perfumes or colognes, playing "your" song, or going to that special restaurant. Develop common interests and take turns picking fun things to do. Share thirty-second phone calls that might sound like this: "Hi, honey, I was thinking of you and wanted to call to remind you that I love you and look forward to seeing you tonight."

Initiate! Initiate! Initiate! Verbalize your love. Enjoy hugs, touch, appreciation, love notes, and sexual sharing. Communicate how glad you are to be with one another.

What specific things can you do today to cultivate close friendship with your spouse?

Lord, help me to give today toward a strong friendship in my marriage.

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