Confession Isn't Easy
He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities. Isaiah 53:5
Many couples who come to our conferences complaining of a lack of love
and an abundance of hurts in their marriage are in that situation because
they don't practice genuine confession with one another. Instead, many offer meaningless platitudes like, "If I've hurt you, I'm sorry?' Others use apology manipulatively this way: "I'm sorry I lost my temper, but I just get tired of your . . ." And many others don't bother to confess or apologize, thinking that time alone will make the hurt go away.
Confession is one of the most difficult biblical requirements to carry out, and it's all the more difficult when a couple doesn't understand what true confession is. I (David) believe we can better understand true confession when we personalize this important part of our faith and our marriage.
The provision of Christ at Calvary has become so familiar to us as Christians that it has lost its personal impact. How sad it is that the pivotal point in human history has lost that impact. This has motivated me to memorize Scripture and meditate on it, making sure that I don't take for granted its intended personal relevance and impact. For example, "He was wounded for my transgressions; He was bruised for my iniquities." Changing "our" to "my" brought more of the Holy Spirit's intended impact on my life. My flesh argued for our sin; He argued for me to see my sin.
Confession is from two Greek words meaning "speak the same." If I have been selfish, critical, unloving, or disrespectful, I must first "speak together" with God ( 1 John 1:9) and then to my spouse (James 5:16). But I must be ready to accept the pain and sorrow of Christ's death for my sins—I've been a part of killing Him! Our hearts must first be broken so that the forgiving, healing ministry of marriage reconciliation can begin.
What will you do today to begin the process that will lead to confession in your marriage?
Grant me, O God, a clean heart, and then prompt me to make it right with my spouse.