Committed Confidence in Another


Marital trust = marital intimacy. What can you do today to express trust in your spouse?

The heart of her husband safely trusts her.  Proverbs 31:11

Walk up to the edge of the light before you and then take one step into what you can't see. This is a good way to illustrate trust.

Trust is never based on having all the answers or knowing all the facts. It's not having a "dead cinch." Trust is based upon some answers and some facts, so it's not "blind faith." But it's not really trust when we see and know everything ahead of us. For example, we trust God having never seen Him. We trust His Son from reading of Him. And we trust His Spirit though we cannot touch Him.

So it is with relational trust. I (David) trust my wife not to knowingly betray me, even though she can, in her humanness, hurt me. I trust my spouse with my most secret thoughts and feelings, believing she'll keep these things between us. I trust my spouse with my deepest inadequacies and fears, confident that she'll protect me and never exploit me. Such trust touches the depths of human intimacy.

Teresa and I have learned to trust one another's motives, even though we may have been hurt by the methods. We each learned to affirm the other's motives, even as we may have communicated disappointment over methods. It might sound like, "I know you didn't mean to, but I felt disre­spected when you seemed to take the kids' side against me."

Such vulnerability maintained our trust level while giving us freedom to deal with the issue of our "methods." This helped us keep our trust in one another at a healthy level.

That has been a huge key to keeping our intimacy growing.

What will you do today to express your trust in your spouse?

What a joy it is, Father, to have a spouse I can trust.

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