Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church! 1 Corinthians 6:4
A lawsuit is not an option for two believers in Christ; otherwise there is no difference between followers of Jesus and non-believers, which means there is no distinction in values, standards, beliefs, and morals. So, Christian mediation has a much greater effect for two individuals who are locked in a relational crisis. There is a much greater purpose at work; to be a good example to the church and to those outside the church. Your obedience with this mediation opportunity matters.
Your family is watching; your friends are watching; your foes are watching; God is watching. In the middle of conflict and disagreement, it is of great consequence that you remain true to the process of mediation. Do not be discouraged or downtrodden. God can be trusted to work it out. Yes, it takes time, and yes, it is painful at times, but this may be the result of not dealing with issues in a timely fashion. Early on, if you are mad or disagree with a decision or behavior, talk it through. If you wait for the misunderstanding to fester, the foundation of trust begins to crack. Your communication ceases and lies begin to creep into your thinking. Before long, there becomes a standoff, and both parties feel hurt and disrespected.
Bad news needs to travel quickly so it can be processed and corrected. Your current situation calls for Christian mediation because a severe disagreement has occurred. Hurt hovers over the relationship. It is extremely critical, at this point, to check your anger at the door before you enter the room of mediation. Make it your goal to restore the relationship rather than getting what you feel you deserve; the relationship is what’s most important. What you think you deserve may be inflated compared to what you really deserve.
This is why a trusted, fair, and wise mediator is invaluable. Whatever the mediator decides is to be accepted by both parties. The mediator will define the facts and listen objectively to both sides. After verifying the facts and processing the information, the mediator will offer a solution that is beneficial and fair to both parties. At this point, you can chose to forgive, trust, and move forward, or you can chose to stew in your self-pity.
Everyone wins when everyone chooses to grow through this process. If you listen intently with a heart to learn, you will come away a better person in Christ. It is through conflict that pride and arrogance either flame up or fizzle out. The goal is the latter. Do not see this disagreement as an affront to you or an opportunity to get even. See this process of Christian mediation as purging your own sin. You will learn from this, and will not assume certain things in the future.
Make sure you value the relationship over riches. Money can be made up, but an offended brother may be lost forever. It is not worth living in relational disrepair. People are more important than getting what you want. Focus on the spirit of the original agreement. You have the opportunity to serve them instead of demanding from them, so take the high road. Die to your expectations, and watch God work; His mediation is masterful.
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