Christ's Example of Leadership


In what areas can you be a better leader for your spouse and children?

Teach me Your way, 0 Lord, and lead me in a smooth path. Psalm 27:11

Virginia and Ned were playing the classic power struggle game. Virginia was the most verbal and sought to control with threats and explosions. Ned was rather quiet and passive. He sought power by procrastinating, escaping into TV or work, or generally avoiding Virginia. They genuinely loved each other and wanted to please the Lord, but they couldn't find His path.

Ned was shocked when I (David) suggested that maybe Virginia's demands and explosions were just her way of seeking any kind of reaction from him. I suggested that perhaps some of her reactions came from underlying fears about finances and disciplining the children. I proposed that Virginia might need Ned to give caring atten­tion to these things, but she wasn't sure how to communicate those needs. Indeed, after we talked with Virginia we discovered that she was looking for Ned's leadership in some of these areas.

Virginia was shocked when I suggested that Ned's procrastination and escape were his methods of protection. I proposed that Ned might be feeling inadequate in some of these areas but might not know how to com­municate that in loving ways. Indeed, after talking with Ned we discovered that he was looking for concrete ways to give to his wife. In some areas he felt quite capable, but in others he felt like he needed extra support.

After asking God to show them how to walk a smooth path in their marriage, Virginia and Ned developed a plan. They agreed upon some par­enting guidelines, and Ned began taking the lead in disciplining the kids when he was home. Ned contacted a financial planner, who worked with them on a family budget.

Ned and Virginia were great examples of what can happen when God steps into a relationship and helps establish leadership.

In what areas can you be a better leader for your spouse and children?

Lord, make me sensitive to You Way so that our marriage path may be smooth.

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