Choosing to Change
What are we contributing to our families as Covenant Keepers? “Families are Forever” is our CK motto and whilst some families are better than others, we all need healing of wrong belief systems created from childhood that have followed into our lives and marriages.
My battle has been to get free - to be me! My mother‘s death when I was four and not talking about her because of upsetting my dad who was trying to raise five children, along with little touch or deep conversation, meant there was a lack of nurturing. I made vows and judgments as a child such as, ―I have to do it myself; ―I won’t feel,” and “I don’t matter.” These are normal coping mechanisms in a child‘s life, but sin is sin and needed confessing.
I was unaware that this lack of nurturing created relational challenges until my marriage separation. I remember my husband saying, ―”Speak to me” and not knowing what to say. I had successfully covered up my lack of intimacy by becoming a great listener - not opinionated - and burying my feelings to keep the peace.
I have now done many Christian-based courses, including Elijah House, enabling me to open those closed areas that were unknowingly shut. The principles used are from scripture: ―Honor your father and mother and all will go well; As a man sows, so shall he reap; Judge not, lest you be judged, as the judgment will come back on you.”
You can be spirit-filled and serving God and still have these challenges. The body can be a beautiful temple through which the spirit expresses itself wholesomely, or it can be a prison or an armored warship for attacking.
I recently watched Prince William and Catherine‘s wedding from Westminster Abbey in London, which highlighted the importance of marriage - one man, one woman for life - to all watching. It was a God-inspired message to the world, including Australia where we are battling to keep marriage sacred. (Our unmarried Prime Minister and her partner are not setting the proper example.) The Bishop declared that marriage is intended to be a man and a woman helping each other to become their deepest and truest selves, stating, “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire!”
I believe the challenge we as Covenant Keepers have is to remain humble before God and man; not becoming self-righteous because of what we are doing in standing for our marriages, but continually seeking God for transformation in our own lives. The group curriculum contains principles from the Bible concerning forgiveness, not judging, walking in love, and allowing God to heal our wounded spirits and emotions. It‘s important to consider what the Bible states, not our feelings, about our circumstances. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. In reading His Word, answers to our circumstances come. Faith-filled words and love-filled faith removes the curse, and healing is the result.
Two other Covenant Keepers share the following stories about making the choice to change.
THURZA: There is a saying, ―The definition of insanity is expecting things to change when we don‘t change anything; which says to me that we have a choice to change things or we can put up with the way things are and stay miserable and powerless. I chose to change! I knew what miserable and powerless felt like, so I sought to find feelings of joy and freedom. I began to ask direction from our Heavenly Father and I believe He led me to two ministries where I found help.
First, Craig Hill‘s (Family Foundations International) Ancient Paths Seminar. Topics covered included relationships, marriage, family, and most importantly, our walk with God and how we give Satan footholds in our lives through lack of knowledge and understanding. This seminar helped bring healing and freedom to my life.
The second was Elijah House which has been instrumental in bringing about healing, knowledge, and understanding. Their teaching challenges our belief system which is usually established when we are children, through our experiences with our family structure and the habits therein. It is often said, people perish for lack of knowledge, but people also stay miserable and powerless without it. My eyes, ears, mind and heart have been opened. Gaining knowledge and understanding has equipped me to face most challenges with energy, confidence, and love – mainly because I am doing things God‘s way when faced with people or life‘s challenges, instead of creating more problems by reacting. Choosing to change things and not expecting the people around me to change has been the best choice I have made since asking the Lord Jesus into my life.
JACKIE: The goodness of God and how He continually reveals His wonderful acts of love, compassion and mercy never ceases to amaze me. Through His grace, He positions us in the right place at the right time to receive the true meaning of Jeremiah 29:11, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, but to give you hope & a future.”
I was brought up a Catholic and after two children, migrating to Australia and 25 years of marriage, my husband left me to care for our family. Through these difficult years, I kept my faith in God. Over the years, I have experienced many physical healings, however, as grateful as I am for these, they were only stepping stones to my greater healing.
I became friends with leaders from Elijah House and I shared some of my life with them. I spoke of my mother and they helped me realize that I had been controlled by her, and also that others had controlled me most of my life. Through the loss of our home and belongings when I was young, I also developed a misconstrued idea of possessions, and the inability to part with anything that might be of value, had a paralyzing affect upon me.
It was only after many teachings on healing of the inner-self that I realized the root causes, dealt with them, and true healing took place. As I received the prayer ministry part of the course, I fully recognized the impact the healing had. I praise God for Him setting me free as I‘m no longer bound as I was previously.
Written by Mary Johnson, Australia