When you are confronted, in a loving way, about an issue in your personal life, do you recieve it as an intrusion or as helpful advice from someone who cares about your well-being?
I’ve recently offered unsolicited marital advice to two different people. Their responses could not have been more different.
- The first guy received it like a champ. He said he would definitely talk to his wife about it and said he appreciated me caring enough about him to speak into his marriage.
- The second guy was defensive to say the very least. He quickly got off the phone and I haven’t heard from him since.
I guess I am weird, but I love it when someone confronts me in love. I guess because I know it wasn’t easy and because they cared more about me, than me liking them. They risked something, and because they did, it changed my life for the better.
But I haven’t always liked being confronted in love. This is an acquired skilled that I’m not sure how I acquired. But I think it has something to do with me being okay with being me. I grew up not liking myself very much because key people around me said I shouldn’t. They said in many different ways and times that I was defective, something was wrong with me. Now that I am 43, I realize that I’m not defective, I’m different. I’m not perfect, and my actions and work can frequently have defects. But my God says I’m not defective. He says, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I guess that is why I’m able to take it when someone confronts me in love. Then again, it hasn’t happened in a while. It might make me feel defective. I hope not.
What about you? Do you have people in your life who speak truth in love into your marriage? How do you receive it?