By the Nose or Arm in Arm?


In marriage, your spouse's point of view and feel­ings are equal to yours. What steps can you take to make sure that your leadership is loving and caring, not manipulative and controlling?

Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman. 1 Corinthians 11:3

Men like to joke about marriage. Some of the jokes are funny, but some are just plain cruel.

One joke I (David) frequently hear from men is referring to another man's marriage as "a ring through the nose When a man gets a good dose of this type of humor, it threatens his ego, so he often tries to present the opposite image: "I run the show at my house, and the little woman does everything I tell her to do." John Wayne rides again.

These images are disturbing, and they demonstrate how men often miss the point of leading and being led. These images paint a picture of people trying to control and manipulate.

Christ tells us that He is the head of our home. I'm certain that Christ has no part of controlling or manipulating. Instead, He is the head of man so that every husband can be certain that Someone is looking out for his needs. Christ is ready and available to hear about each man's needs and abundantly provide. Christ is ready to protect and guide.

Christ also tells us that the man is the head of a woman. There is no hint of control or dictatorship. Instead, each husband is responsible to pro­vide for his wife, just as Christ provided for him. Because of Christ's provi­sion, each husband can protect, guide, and help make a path smooth.

God's plan for intimacy involves a different type of leadership. It's neither John Wayne-like nor ring-through-the-nose in its approach, but an arm-in-arm style of facing problems together. Each person's view and feel­ings are equally important, and when one takes the lead, it is a loving action meant to show the way so that the person following has a clear path.

What steps can you take to make sure that your leadership is loving and caring, not manipulative and controlling?

God, help me lead my spouse arm in arm, rather than by manipulating or controlling.


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