Build ‘Em Up: Friendships & Motherhood

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Finding friends in any new phase of life or new location is not fun. But, oh is it worth it.

This topic, like MANY in this stage of life (insert health, marriage, balance, etc.), is just a toss up.

I could do an entire post telling you how HARD it is to make friends as moms. And how more complicated it gets and how less time we have and how you have one conversation over 2 hours – interrupted by 8 kids.

Or, I could go a different direction with this topic and say:

“IT IS WHAT IT IS – SUCK IT UP SISTER. YOU’VE GOT TO.”

And so, at the risk of ruffling feathers, I’m going with the latter.

I am here to tell you that I would seriously not survive without friends in this mom world and I recently just had to make it happen.

I have OLD friends that have known me since I was a child and would adopt my kids.

I have COLLEGE friends that make me almost vomit with laughter still to this day.

I have some BLOG/FACEBOOK friends that have brought me to tears because they are so in tune with my heart and life than many of my real friends. Some serious encouragers out there and I am grateful.

I have some true HEART FOREVER friends that are just life timers and keep no score. Just pick up where we left off.

I have the MOM CORE friends that walked me through pregnancy, childbirth and are my lifeline still to this day. We are on a group text spanning 4 states and I live for it, daily.

One day, we talked about lice, poop, gray hair and tapeworms all in the span of 8 minutes. Pure comedy and survival mode at its finest.

Moving to a new city is not fun. Starting over is not fun.

Maybe you just quit your job?

Maybe you are a new mom?

Maybe you are an empty nester?

Finding friends in any new phase of life or new location is not fun.

But, oh is it worth it.

No matter where you sit today, you know the feeling of loneliness. You know the feeling of “Barney and my 3-year-old aren’t cutting it as my BFFs” and I need a friend. Husbands rule in so many categories. However, girlfriends are fuel to the soul.

They know how to love, laugh, encourage, comfort, soothe and pep talk us through any situation.

I have had to accept that no one in Florida will replace my dearest friends from Atlanta. And I don’t want them to.

I have also had to admit that I need community here and I wasn’t going to wait for it. I had to “suck it up sister” and do something.

After a few weeks of crying every Sunday after church, I decided to “start a group.”  Every time I met a couple that felt like “our kind of people”– I mentioned it. And God worked his magic. Now, five couples meet every week and we are the leaders.

We have five families – and they are our friends. Carrie is one of them – she brought me Gatorade on Friday when I couldn’t stop barfing from a headache. Beth is another one that came in 4 seconds flat to pick up my girls one afternoon of another migraine and has listened to me cry over anything from a a business decision to a marital spat

I don’t mean to make it so simple and diminish anyone’s loneliness – but sometimes you gotta take that step. Sign up for that bible study or moms group. Ask that girl for a playdate. Show up to that park and introduce yourself. Email that acquaintance for coffee.

It’s totally awkward, but worth every minute of it.

I also think God is extremely interested in this issue for us.

We are meant to live in community and spur one another on. We need real friends that know the depths of our hearts. I want friends on a deep level that we can say things that even scare us to admit. Ones that grow spiritually together. I have those and I’m leaving in a few weeks for the beach with them.

That replenish trip is not a want – it’s a need. (That was part of my speech to my husband for making it a 3-4 night trip – do you like it?)

So, make it happen. Take a step. Pray for it. We all need it. Moms in the same stage, same season. We were never meant to walk these roads alone.

Lord, thank you for blessing me beyond belief with more friends than I deserve. Truly, what a gift. I pray that I will be the kind of friend that they are to me. I pray that I will wake up tomorrow and the next day and think how I might lift up or encourage or serve a friend that’s been down or alone. I’ve been so wrapped up with love by many and I need to pay it forward. I believe you had so many of these women waiting in Orlando and I’m honored I get to be their friends.

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