Build ‘Em Up: Being Confident in Motherhood


Courtney DeFeo shares how she has grown in her confidence in motherhood.

Today’s topic is ‘Being Confident in Motherhood.”   Pretend that I lined up three newborn mothers, six homeschool moms and nine grandmothers and asked them this question:

Are you confident in your abilities as a Mother?

How many hands would go up? Zilcho. It is similar to the question, "do you think you are beautiful?" Some might feel confident or feel beautiful from time to time, but who is REALLY going to admit it?  Now, what if I said, "who is CONFIDENT in their ability as a mom with God on their side?" How many hands would go up?  I believe quite a few more. As a mother, I have areas of strength and then...there are areas where I am just plain faking it. I have NO IDEA what I am doing and I’m afraid my kids smell fear all over me.

I am afraid my friends are going to figure out that I really don’t know much at all and that you will discover it too. And then I realize, it’s a journey and an adventure of growth. I am confident in this. I am a better mother today than I was last year. I am definitely a stronger mother the second time around – ah, the joy of perspective. I am committed to learning more from books, mistakes and other mothers. I am committed to learning my kids and letting God lead us. I am confident God loves these kids more than I ever could – so I’ll go with His plan.

Slowly, I see a drift away from perfection and control. It has brought me closer to confidence, even confidence in the uncertain and the unknown.

Brene Brown’s Ted Talks are awesome – she reminds me that vulnerability is courage. That’s why I don’t mind telling you so much of myself on here. I simply don’t know it all. I am confident in what I do believe, but always open to change and opinions and the voices of others. My fear is that I don’t always portray that. I want to be a good listener. I want others to be heard. I don’t want my sarcasm to hurt others. I don’t want my confident nature to scream “arrived.” I have so much to learn! My girls are 4 and 6 for heaven's sakes!

As Lysa TerKeurst said in her AH-MAZING Mother’s Day message at Elevation Church, “the fickle opinion of others” can be something that RULES us as women and young moms. I would change Ella’s entire schedule and menu as a baby – if a strongly opinionated friend told me to. Six years into this, I am standing firmer and holding my head higher.  I like hearing from others and I often ASK for those opinions and CLICK on the many blogs. However, I LOVE my filters: the Bible, prayer, wise counsel and my own heart. What makes sense for my family makes me a confident mama.

Do you agree? What are your filters?  

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