Being Part of a Blended Family
When I think about issues with parents, two names come to mind—Steve and Janet. No, they aren't my mom and dad, at least not biologically. Steve is my step-dad and Janet is my step-mom. For most of my teenage years my relationships with them were tumultuous at best.
My parents divorced when I was 10. My mom remarried when I was 13. My dad remarried when I was 16. In between those two weddings, I accepted Christ as my Savior. I had my share of struggles with my mom and dad during those years (and well into young adulthood), but my relationships with my stepparents were exceptionally difficult.
My attitude toward my stepparents can be summed up in one phrase: entitled rebellion. I didn't choose to be a child of divorce, and I certainly didn't choose to get new parents smack dab in the middle of my teenage years. I thought those facts entitled me to act however I wanted toward my step-mom and step-dad. I'm sure I yelled, "You're not my mom!" and "You're not my dad!" more than a time or two. I thought it constantly. The truth is that these adults weren't my biological parents, but that didn't mean they didn't have the right to parent me or I had the right to disrespect their authority.
Statistics vary, but by most estimates 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and 75 percent of divorced people remarry. The result of those numbers is a lot of hurt kids who struggle to pick up the pieces of their parents' divorce, especially after their parents have moved on to another marriage. I feel compelled to offer you hope. God has fully healed the wounds left by my parents' divorce. As a result, I now have healthy, loving relationships with all of my parents, including my stepparents. The same is possible for you.
Romans 8:28 promises, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
A broken family is not God's plan for your life, but He is able to redeem it. It may be hard to imagine, but God is able to change your heart so that you can live in peace with each other.
I want you to know that I know being in a blended family is really, really tough. I've been where you are, and I know how hard it is.
God knows, too.
Psalm 33:13–15 says, "From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do."
He sees your situation. He formed your heart and knows it well. The heartache and turmoil that can accompany being a part of a blended family isn't lost on Him.
My question for you is, will you trust His truth? Do you believe that He is able to take your current situation and redeem it for your good and His glory? I am praying your answer is yes.
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