“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, CSB)
I am in a season of renewal.
At first, that might sound refreshing and full of hope, but the truth is, renewal is only necessary when something needs to die.
I’m going through a time where nothing makes sense. And in this confusion, God is walking me through the funeral of my own understanding.
It all started with the sudden loss of my brother-in-law that has left a gaping hole in our family. Next, I had to leave a 12-year career I loved. Then my daughter left for college, leaving my husband and me to reconnect and rediscover ways to fill up our newly emptied nest.
Often, I compare what is going on in my life to a snow globe. I’m the figurine standing at the bottom of the globe. God has picked me up off of my stable shelf and started shaking me, releasing all the colorful particles of my life. They taunt me as they swirl past me and bounce off of my skin. I try to hold on to them, but they are moving too fast for me to grasp. They cloud my vision, and I find myself waking up each morning feeling as if I am living someone else’s life.
And in this time of upheaval, meditating on Proverbs 3:5-6 has shown me the source of my cloudy vision. The verses read, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight.”
These verses instruct me to know Him, not understand Him. Now I see that my desire for clarity has been blocking all opportunities for me to trust God and to know Him more deeply. I have been mistakenly focused on trying to make sense of how all the particles will fall on this proverbial path God has for my life.
A close friend of mine often says, “When it’s odd, it’s God.” And in this odd season, I’m humbly learning His ways will never come down to the level of my understanding. I’m finding that, as I let go of my need to figure everything out, my trust is being renewed.
God has designed each one of us, like a snow globe, to be shaken. And when we feel ourselves being pulled off of our stable shelf, we don’t have to fear or figure it out. We just need to keep our focus on the One who has us firmly in His hand. Once secure in this trust, we can lean back and watch in wonder as the particles of our lives fall where they may.
A snow globe is the most beautiful right after it has been shaken, and as we learn to die to our need for understanding, so are we.
Jesus, thank You for holding us so securely as we wrestle with the “whys” of life. Help us to keep our eyes on You and know that Your plans for us are far better than anything we could imagine. Replace our need to understand with the desire to know and pursue You above anything else. We praise You that You are a God who desires to be known and experienced. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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FOR DEEPER STUDY
Isaiah 55:8-9, “‘My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,’ says the LORD. ‘And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’” (NLT)
Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.” (CSB)
What is one area of your life where you are questioning God? What could happen if you chose to stop seeking answers and instead put all your energy into knowing more about Him?
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© 2021 by Eileen Andrejeski. All rights reserved.