Godly women build up their home by their attitudes, but self-centered, ungodly women tear it down.
1. A solid home must be built on a foundation of a permanent, unconditional commitment. (“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” Prov. 31:11.) The world says, "You don't have to put up with him. You ought to find somebody who will treat you right." But the godly woman is in her marriage to give, not to get; and she will keep on giving regardless of the cost.
2. The woman who has yielded all her expectations to God, has a grateful spirit. On the other hand, the demanding, right-oriented woman feels that she is owed certain things, and her expectations can never be satisfied. She chains her husband, children, and others to expectations they cannot possibly fulfill.
3. The godly woman is “clothed with humility,” that heart attitude which causes her to “esteem all others better than (herself).” The proud woman tears down her home, as well as others, by putting herself, her needs, and her desires before those of others.
4. A wise woman builds her home with a spirit of meekness, or yielding of all her rights to God. The foolish woman is easily angered when she feels her rights have been violated.
5. The woman who trusts in God, will be able to respond to her husband's authority submissively and obediently. The woman who resists the direction of her divinely-appointed head, whether by overt rebellion or an internal heart attitude of stubbornness, threatens the security of her home. A woman's drive to control the man is part of the curse that resulted from the Fall (Gen. 3:16). A home can be destroyed by a domineering, manipulative woman who is driven to control. Yieldedness builds a home.
6. The spirit of a home is built by a woman who radiates joy—joy that is rooted, not in her external circumstances, but in the confidence that God is “the Blessed Controller” of all things. The self-centered woman infects those around her with her spirit of discontent and bitterness.
7. The merciful, forgiving woman “covers a multitude of sins” with her love, and is quick to overlook trespasses committed against her. A foolish woman tears her home down by keeping score and insisting on retaliation.
8. The godly woman reverences her husband, not necessarily because he is worthy of honor but because she agrees that God has designated that man as her head. The woman who tears down her husband with an attitude of disrespect is exalting herself and foolishly tearing down her home.
9. The loyal woman will build up her husband and children by speaking well of them to others. A critical attitude will destroy the spirit of the home. The foolish woman will compare her mate unfavorably to others and will allow herself to fantasize about the “ideal” man to whom she would “really” like to be married.
10. “Above all things,” Paul exhorted, “have fervent love among yourselves” (1 Peter 4:8). One of the most important things older, godly women are to teach younger women is to love their husbands and children (Titus 2:4). The loving woman will not seek her own interests, time, privacy, and fulfillment, but will totally give of herself to meet the needs of others, without expecting anything in return. Self-seeking, on the other hand, is an ugly, cancerous, destructive influence in a home.